Child's Wishes

good luck, and i am sure it will go your way..keep us up to date ok..let me know what happens. please'

cherbear

In New Jersey the age is 13, but you can request I believe a guardian/advocate to be appointed to the chid to represent her in court.  

I feel the lawyers should meet with the children and see what they need.  In my case my lawyers would not meet with them and I feel that is wrong.  Children when they are over a certain age know what they want and the lawyer you hire should respect their needs.

I wish you the best of luck, but I feel in my heart you will prevail because you are trying to help your child and he is hindering it which makes him look bad in the eyes of the court.

You're welcome and Good Luck!!!!!

Good LUCK! Let us know how it goes!

Thank you very much BeeBee!

Spaz, thank you so much for your comment.  We're trying to get my daughter in to see a psychologist right now so her wishes can be talked about with a third party plus any of the other issues discussed...which are many at Daddy's house lately and she really needs a voice and a chance to talk.  My ex is refusing this as well as refusing to put our younger son into a counselling program for kids with parents going through a divorce...so we're going to have to bring him to court...I'm hoping that a Judge agrees to all of this for our kids...it will only help them out.  Thanks so much for your support and guidance.

Peyton 2, Spaz has some good advice about the psychologist....my son is seeing on and he talks to her about his dad and how he doesn't want the 50/50.  When my ex tried to put me in contempt for not letting him see his son, the psychologist shed some light on the issue with the notes that she took on my son's sessions with her.  This really helped in court.  It wasn't me who wasn't allowing my ex to see my son, it was my son who didn't want to see his dad on a regular basis.  You need a some backup/support in order to get your ex off your back and accuse you of wrong doing when you are in fact doing nothing wrong. 

Good Luck.

I like your idea of letting him pick...my lawyer and his lawyer picked one together but now his lawyer has to convince him of this which is never easy...he loves to fight unfortunately.  I live in Canada.

There is only one state that has laws on the books that give a child a voice in court, and that is Georgia at the age of 14...all other states it is the judges choice and discretion and a lot of them put other evidence before a child's choice....you don't say what state you are in so if it isn't Georgia, it really depends on the judge in your particular court.

A psychologist is the best route - but might I suggest you let HIM pick the person she sees? Otherwise, he's just going to argue that you influenced it...

Sorry ... I forgot to add some info and hopefully this should answer some questions.  We have a court date set at the end of November ... we went down this road a few years ago when my ex filed for 50/50.  The Judge left it status quo back then.  If our daughter wanted 50/50 and was pushing for it, I would likely facilitate it but she does not and she is frustrated that she is continuously telling her Dad that she does not want 50/50...thus the need for a third party at this point to sit with her and for her to have a voice.

We currently have a 4.5/9.5 split and all holidays are split 50/50.  She is a teenage girl that does not want 50/50.  She is happy with status quo.  My lawyer is trying to get her Dad to agree to having her sit with a psychologist to voice her wishes, issues and concerns...I think this is a very good idea and very empowering for her.  She will be 14 in the New Year.

HIC she is fighting him because her daughter does not want to go with him! There may be more to this than we know- I know this hits a soft spot with you but realize that not all dads want to be real dads.
Peyton- get her to talk to someone . My ex bf and I took his kids to a counselor that agreed to court testimony. The kids told her how things went with mom- how they wanted equal time with their dad. Mom backed down because she knew the kids had spoken. We gave a list of questions for her to ask his kids to point them in the direction needed. But you cannot be present in the room while this is taking place. You cannot have any influence on her towards her decision.
You can also request a lawyer be appointed to your daughter. This person would examine both homes, talk to both parents and make a recommendation to the judge.
There comes a point where your daughter needs to be heard, but she will have to have reasons to give..not just an "I don't want to". Make sure the judge understands you have been her primary care taker for 4 years and this is what your daughter is used to. Talk about the best interest of her- which is stability.
Don't try to keep her away from him unless you have a court ruling. You will be found in contempt of court. But legally , you are going to have to get things changed there.
Has he filed? Have any legal steps been taken?

In Texas the age is 12.  My ex had my daughter sign a petition to live with him and now she does.  She wants to live with him cuz he gives her everything.  I can't afford to buy her Bee Bee clothes all the time or take her out and pay for her and her friends to go skating, etc. He says he can and so made her promises and she fell for them.  Good luck.

Why are you fighting him on 50/50?  She's 13 years old.  She's not an adult.  It depends on the state, and I'm sure the judge will give it some weight as to her wishes....$3000 dollars later.

When she pays for her share of the bills, she can have a share in the decision making.  If he's a good father, don't block his ability to BE her father!