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This will be my 2nd divorce. I have 3 wonderful boys from my previous. 20,19 & 16. My "first" ex and I co-parented and our boys are well adjusted. We are both the best of friends. Weird, but more like a brother. Anyway, I'm headed for #2. Married 4 years. He has a son, 13 who's mom died tragically in April. He moved in with us in September. It's been a huge adjustment for him and everyone else. But I feel for him. He came from a life with friends, family and a school he loved. Not only was his mom ripped from him life so was his own life. I seemed to have no say. So I kept quiet. Then my soon to be ex would not allow my first ex to come over anymore like he has for the past 13 years to see his boys. My soon to be ex is very lazy, does nothing manually around the house. My son and I tried to take down the pool. Little by little. One day my ex came over and started to pitch in. He also asked "soon to be ex" if he ever needed help he would. Anyway, long story..trying to be short, my son and my ex dug in and got rid of the pool. Now my soon to be is forbidding him to come here. that was another ignite... he's accused me now of stealing. He had an issue w/his ex regarding stealing, so he thinks i am stealing his bills. For godsakes, why would I want his bills. So now we are walking in silence. It's horrible. One day I'm crying, can't believe this is happening, the next day I'm just stoic. I just can't believe I'm going through this again. It's horrible. Divorce is so mean and nasty. I don't have the energy to fight dirty or be mean and nasty anymore. But it looks like it's not the way he is going to work this. Looking ahead everything is black. I may have to sell the house, crossing my fingers that my interview goes well today. Financially, I have no money, he hasn't given me any living expenses for 2 months, but is throwing bills my way.
I was married for 18yrs with two children. Tried hard to save my marriage but my ex husband sat back and reap the rewards. Basically he worked and barely paid the bills. It was a constant argument with late due bills plus the intimate part was barely ever there. I stayed in my marriage for my children.
After the divorce I spiraled into a deep depression. Hated life/men basically everything in general. I was living through my job and exercise - that's all I had going for me.
My depression was taking me over until I decided that I can't give him anymore of my life, he was winning with me being this way, so one day I said enough and started living for me and my children. It was the best thing I could have done. Divorce is like a death, we have emotions to deal with, but once we acknowledge that we can love ourself again it gets easier.
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