what to tell the kids?

I want to thank you, pinkribbongirl for commenting on my plea for help with my controlling husband. In regards to your kids wanting you to remain on friendly terms with your husband, all I can say is my 17 year old boy wants me to do the same. I told him the truth, that his dad may not be able to be friendly with me because he views me as a criminal stealing his money so it may be hard for him to deal with me in a friendly fashion. Can you beleive that my husband actually feels that he is the one that has been mistreated?! Well, how does your husband feel? As long as he is feeling totally in control of things, you included he is probably happy enough. I , like you, try not to put down or bash my husband and sometimes my kids see him for who he truly is and sometimes they see him for who they need him to be. Your husband sounds like he is careing and supportive of your kids so you call him a good father. My husband is stand offish and only supportive financially when he is forced to, and careing very little in how he shows it. So bashing aside, I think you should tell as much truth as they can handle. So now that your daughter knows the trouble is over money maybe she needs to know he is trying to control you by way of the finances and controlling is considered unhealthy in a relationship. I just tell my kids and husband that I will let the legal system decide what is right for me to have and go with that. That way I feel I don't have to get into a fight with my husband and just let my lawyer battle for my rights. When your husband comes over I would not disappear into your bedroom it you have stuff to do just do it around them. It is your house, if they want to be alone he could take her shopping or the movies or something else. That's just my opinion, you know what is comfortalbe to you so don't listen to me. I wish you well and lots of luck. Thanks again, you are the only one who spoke to me.

You are right keep the "dad bashing" to a minimum.. He is her father and she needs to have him in her life. I know you want to bad mouth him and turn her against him but think of the kids first. The kids will respect you in the long run the more you two support each other.