Need lots of help and advice

Been married 15 years, 2 kids (7 years old). I worked full time until the kids, and only went back part time as a preschool teacher when they started school at age 5. Lots of issues, lack of trust, respect, etc. Don't love him, not attracted to him anymore, don't like him or who I am when he is around. I think that he has a problem with alcohol. I've asked him to move out but he won't go. We haven't shared a bed in 4 or 5 years. Going to try and get him to agree to mediation for the sake of the kids, but deep in my heart know that he won't agree and that we will get into a messy, costly divorce. He is in total denial about the whole situation and doesn't think I'll go through with it. How do I get him to acknowledge the fact that this is going to happen? I've been to see a couple of lawyers and have differing advice from them which is making it harder for me to move forward. The first one said to get my hands on 50-60% of our money, make arrangements to find a place to stay, move out when he is at work, pick up the kids at the bus and take them to the new house and leave the divorce papers on the table with her business card. (There was an instance of physical abuse where he pushed me up against a wall and I think that is why she wants me out so quickly). She also advised that I not try and find another job at this point (I work part-time currently at a preschool) as it would jpossibly hurt my position as primary caregiver. The other advised to try mediation so that we don't end up blowing all the money on a two-lawyer process. She also suggested getting my hands on some of our money (could always transfer it back) and said that I could look for another place if I wanted to. She said that I could also look for work if I wanted. Courts in our state are trying to rule for joint custody on a 5-2 plan and she doesn't think my working one way or the other would affect this too much. Very confused, just want this done and over with as quickly and easily as possible, which I know probably won't happen. Thanks, in advance, for your help.