So broken hearted...

*big sigh*…Hello All, my wife and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary in June. We talked about how great our marriage has been and how happy we both are with our 3 children ages 6, 7, and 9.  About two and a half weeks ago we got into a big argument and our relationship has been spiraling down the drain since then.  To her it must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak.  Our living situation is not normal at this time since we just moved from out-of-state with my sister in-law. I am bringing this fact up because I believe that there may be a connection between her and my deteriorating relationship.  My sister in-law has been divorced 3 times and has 3 kids from 3 different fathers.  Please don’t get me wrong, she is a good person, she just has a different outlook on life which my wife and I don’t agree with. However, since that big argument (which involved my sister in-law’s son) my wife has completely changed and sort of agrees with everything her sister does and the way she thinks.  I know that this is not the main cause of the issues we are having but I cannot help but think that they aren’t helping the situation any.  My wife and I have had many talks in the past few days, shed many tears, and poured out all our thoughts.  All these years (10 years of marriage), I realize that I haven’t been the perfect husband, I did not help much around the house, I’ve had a short fuse (reason for the “big argument” a couple of weeks ago) and I’ve been a very jealous nut also.

I agree with everything my wife has pointed out and I know that I have to work on those issues and will make all the necessary changes to overcome them. I mean that sincerely and have no problems making the proper adjustments.

I love my wife dearly and just can’t think of being apart from her; however, she also communicated that she is thinking of wanting to be alone.  Her statement devastated me and I feel lost, hurt, and confused all at the same time.  She says she doesn’t know whether we can make our relationship work again and that she is afraid that if we get separated that she might like being alone and wouldn’t want me around her.

I also have noticed changes in her affection towards me, her actions are cold, only holding my hand because she feels like she has to.  We had another talk last night, shed a few more tears, and expressed our feelings.  I told her that it is hard for me to be in a situation which I’m not used (minimal affection, coldness, walking on eggshells) and try to make the changes I need to make our relationship better.  I asked her if she wants to separate for a while to see if it that would give her a clearer mind to think about what she wants for our future, but she is afraid.  At the same time, I told her that I am 100% committed to make it work not just for me or her but also for our 3 children.  She got really quiet after that and I asked her if she still loved me and only after a minute of silence and tears she said that she did but that it wasn’t the same.

We left if at that, and we fell asleep holding each other.

I am an emotional wreck, I love my children too much to be away from them for just a day. I love and adore my wife and will do anything for her.

I know this is a very long post and maybe I am hoping for a miracle here, and I am not very good at writing, but this is a reflection of what is going on in my marriage.

I am not even sure what I’m looking for here: advise, guidance, opinions…anything.

Thank you for reading.