To move or not to move...that is the question.

I am in the tail-end of a divorce from a member of the military. We currently live in Oklahoma, which is his last duty station. Once the divorce is final I would really like to move back to Maryland which was my home before we got married. The problem is my stbx is still stationed here in OK and is planning on staying here after he retires. We have two children and I'm feeling guilty about moving them away from their father. He does what's required of him by the courts but honestly he doesn't do anything above that if it inconveniences him. Outside of child support he buys them nothing. He doesn't do the little things that I feel a man would do for his boys. The boys don't think anything of it because they're taken care of and they enjoy their weekends with him. Right now he lives around 90 miles away. I don't have many friends here to help me out and it's not exactly the area I would have chosen to live in had he not been in the military. I want to move to be near my friends and family but I feel like I'm being selfish as far as my children are concerned. Any input on this would be very helpful! I'm open-minded so I would love to hear personal stories from both sides of the fence.

by stephbo71 4 Posts
Posted on 9/12/2009 7:57 PM

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Tags: military , custody , travel , move , separation , children , distance

Answers for "To move or not to move...that is the question." (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

I guess the problem is the kids are too young to see that I'm doing what's best for us. My fear is that they'll look at it as I'm taking them away from their father.

by stephbo71 4 Posts
Posted on 9/13/2009 11:41 AM

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Do what u feel is ebst for u and for ur kids... Im now living in a diferent country! and I can assure u its the best for me..Im in charge of my kids... and If im happy they r happy...

There is, without doubt, many awesome daddys out there.. but it sounds like ur kids have a dad like my kids, a disneyland daddy never around, never calling and paying childsupport just because thats what the law says... and ur kids deserve better!!

good luck!

by carossi 141 Posts
Posted on 9/12/2009 10:13 PM

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If you are the custodial parent do what is best for the children. To keep following him from one duty station to the next is just inviting stress into your and the kids life.

by Jamesalone 2776 Posts
Posted on 9/12/2009 10:05 PM

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