What to tell your teenage daughter when she doesn't want to go to her Dad's anymore?

It started by him carelessly saying he didn't want her to come over anymore if she was going to be so unpleasant. Of course he's backtracked, but now she doesn't want to go. What do I do? I fully support her not going now since he is the one that did the damage.....is that right?

by DK-Simoneau 189 Posts
Posted on 1/19/2008 4:37 PM

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Answers for "What to tell your teenage daughter when she doesn't want to go to her Dad's anymore?" (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

I would encourage your ex to speak with your daughter, even if he is backtracking -- he needs to deal with the damage he caused. Your daughter needs to know that she is wanted at his place. I had a similar issue but I later found out that it was all guilt. My kids didn't want to seem happy when they went to their dad's because they thought that would make me unhappy. I think your 13 yr old is just asserting herself (a little part of me is saying: good for her! sorry...)

by SuYin 316 Posts
Posted on 1/20/2008 6:32 PM

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Did you talk to you your daughter? I've been through some situtations w/my ex and his g/f - she's an alcoholic.....my daughter mentioned something that just made me wonder about and thiings @ his house and when my babygirl and I talked, she opened up. I talked w/his parents (we're close) and they said if I needed to go to court, they'd be there. Anyway, the main thing is find out WHY she doesn't want to go and talk and more importantly LISTEN

by lizzie 13 Posts
Posted on 1/20/2008 6:26 PM

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I agree with Firecracker. I think it's important to keep communications open. I would encourage her to see her father, but wouldn't go so far as to force the issue.

by Robert-Boyd 5134 Posts
Posted on 1/19/2008 9:42 PM

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Well, its easy to give advice from 30,000 feet - but i would try hard to encourage her to continue to have a relationship with her father - its easy to "let this go" but i wouldnt - kids need both parents if they have 'em. i know first hand that having both your parents post divorce is much better than losing touch with one of 'em. Many divorces occur when kids are teens - which heightens the challenges (its hard enough to talk to a 13 year old, much less if the situation is tense) try and help em defuse this is my advice! ~~~~~firecracker

by firecracker 153 Posts
Posted on 1/19/2008 7:53 PM

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