Children pick up question

we have a consent agreement, he gets the kids after school Friday three weekends a month. Before school started, we had been doing the exchange of the children at the community swimming pool parking lot, as I don't feel comfortable with him coming to the house (he moved out in June) and I had my attorney write a letter stating he had moved out and was not allowed back to the home. He has been abiding by that.

Now that school is in session, he wants to pick up our youngest from his after school program at 4pm today, which I have no problem with, however he wants to pick up our older two sons (16 and 14yrs old) at the house, since they are out of school at 3pm and will be there. I do not get off work until 5:30pm and am not real comfortable with him picking up the older 2 at the house, but am not sure what else to suggest, as I don't think it is fair to them to make them walk to the community pool on their own, nor do I feel comfortable with him coming to the house when I am not there, even though he says he won't come in, he'll just pick them up from the street.

Has anyone else had to face this problem where the other parent wanted to pick up the children before you were off work....how did you handle it? Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

by sadchic 33 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 6:09 AM

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Answers for "Children pick up question" (2) (You must be logged in to answer)

I understand this post was a while ago but in case you are still open to comments here it goes.
I have a similar pick up situation where I, too, am uncomfortable with him coming to my home when I am not there and he knows it. However, as far as I can tell, and from what the kids share, there has been no problem. I do not trust him in the least, if he were to access the house I feel he would do so when no one is here. I am far more concerned with him getting access to keys or help himself to the back yard. Less when the kids are around.
How to handle the key situation? with older kids they may need access to house when I am not available. When dad has them what happens to the keys to my house? He can easily take keys from the kids, make copies, and return keys to kids before they notice. Just stuff I think about when I have too much time...

by sy 36 Posts
Posted on 9/17/2009 11:14 PM

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His right to see the kids trumps your concern about him and the house. If his name is on it and there is only a "letter" not a judicial order, he would have the right to go in and out as he pleases anyway.

If he has abided by the letter so far there is no reason not to trust him when he says he will wait at the street, if he comes in, you know the kids will tell you, so allow it until he does something to actually cause real concern, and not just your own mind getting the best of you.

by spaznskitz 8478 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 1:36 PM

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