Well that all sounds really sweet, but in the real world this probably isn't going to happen. This is a man who has ditched his responsiblities for 15 years. I hope that he would take the time to get to know his son anyway. Your son is 20 years old now. He's a man, maybe he should go to his father with the questions he deserves answers to. You certainly deserve the financial support and I hope you get it. The system really does stink. Unfortunately, I don't see it changing to quickly. Good Luck to you. Your a great mother and a wonderful person and I'm sure your son feels very lucky to have you. There are all kinds of families in this world and there doesn't always have to be a mom and dad to make it a great family. Sometimes it does more harm than good to force the issue. Just continue to have a great relationship with your son the way you always have and let things unfold, however they should be. Your son is probably a smart guy and I'm sure if he really wants to have a relationship with his father, he will one day without your help.

You're right Stacy, child support enforcement agencies have their own agendas, having little or nothing to do with yours. The system doesn't care about you and your father, and the times you missed. It doesn't care about your son and his father or his only living grandparent. But since you do, you are the one person that holds the key. I know how tempting it is to keep fighting for money that you feel you are entitled to -- but may never receive. $85,000 is a formible amount to pay or be paid. My advice is to take a giant step away from the path you're on. Take the high road instead since the road you're on is headed nowhere. Communicate to your ex-spouse that you will accept whatever he is able to pay you (yes, whatever) and that you will sign a consent agreement to end the financial dispute -- and remove the case from the court's jurisdiction. Get them out of the picture and your lives forever. Return to the world you left before divorce turned it upside down and inside out. But, also tell him why you are doing what you're doing. Tell him you are giving him a one-time chance to step up and become the best father he can now be, under the new circumstances you are willing to create. For your son, the prospect of gaining a father he hasn't really known will be the greatest gift you could give... to both of them. Give them time and gice them a chance on whatever terms they decide. Perhaps someday your ex-husband will realize what you did for him, and for your son... and maybe he'll find some way to repay you for what you've done. I know that "giving" doesn't seem like much of a solution, especially when you feel that you should be on the receiving end. But I know it works. Good luck in whatever you decide.