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I sent the OW an email the kid gloves are off and I am fighting mad.

I am just so pissed right now I need to write. My husband and I have only been separated for 2 months. When we separated we agreed not to see any one because we were still married. I agreed that as long as those terms were met I would be civil . Well I just found out today that he is in an internet relationshp with someone from those game rooms who lives in California. I called him at work and told him I was so pissed that he had betrayed me (no surprize there.) So I asked him if he was honest with this woman did he tell her we were only separated, did he tell her that he had been abusive in the past to me and our boys, did he tell her about all the affairs and us having herpes. He said that he had told her all of that. So I asked him when he was planning on telling me, after all I have been going over ther every week to balance the checkbook, clean the house and have sex. Just when was he planning on telling me? So he asked me what I was going to do and I told him I should call up this woman and verify that he told her the truth. He said I wish you would not do that so I did not call her I had her email address and sent her a nice email about the facts he said she already knew. Kid gloves are off this woman is going to bat. I don't care any more about his sorry ass. Let him deal with his fallout if he did not tell her the truth. Loser.

by naturespath 44 Posts
Posted on 8/27/2009 6:50 PM

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I sent the OW an email the kid gloves are off and I am fighting mad. on divorce360.com

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Tags: ow , cheater , lying , relationships ,

Answers for "I sent the OW an email the kid gloves are off and I am fighting mad." (11) (You must be logged in to answer)

Thanks flutterby for the advice.. I have been doing a lot of thinking about what my husband said and his actions. He said he could she a change in me that I had a new attitiude and that he loved me.

Right now I am not ready to go back to him. I don't want to visit the "drama bar. I enjoy my life and the things I am doing. I enjoy re-inventing myself. I get lonely, bored fearful and a shit attitude sometimes but than its just me having to deal with it not two people.

I am going to take this nice and slow. Yes and War Games was a fantastic movie. Glad ou picked up on the line.

by naturespath 44 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 10:02 PM

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Be sure to listen to yourself. I know it is tempting to take care of him but only he can do that for himself. Counseling is an excellent idea and you can still do that while separated.

Think, REALLY THINK, about what is best for you. This is your time.

War Games, one of my fave movies from the 80's. : )

by flutterby 829 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 8:05 PM

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Thank you all for your insight. Now for part 2 of this saga. After I emailed the OW I tried to go to sleep with the resolve that in the morning I would cash in my savings bonds, take 1/2 of the monies out of our joint checking and savings and file for divorce. IN the morning I check my emails and there was one from my husband. I almost did not open it but I did. In the email he said that he was really messed up and that he needed help. He wanted to go into counseling plus joint marriage counseling. He said he missed me. That he was willing to do anything to fix our marriage.

While I was reading the email he comes on-line and starts IMing me. Seems he is really upset and thinking about suicide. I ask him if he is serious or just playing me. I could tell he meant it so I get dressed and drove into town. So while at the house he calls a therapist to make an appointment. I am shocked. He wants me to move back home. I tell him slow down I wasn't moving back home until Nov ( when he was to move out.) So now dear folks I have to figure out what is right for ME to do for myself, not for my husband.

by naturespath 44 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 7:46 PM

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I would so love to have a chat with the OM who destroyed my life. But I'm not gonna, because it will go sideways like an 18 wheeler doing 90 MPH on Ice.

I have come to realise that the two cheaters will get together after the divorces are both final and begin to live a life begun through cheating, lying and deception. The thrill of sneaking around and getting over will fade, to be replaced by the thrill of doing battle in the courtroom and lawyers offices.

When that all fades, they will tire of each other and one will stray............crushing the hopes and dreams of the other one. Then the cycle will begin to repeat for both of them, whilst I get on with my life, find an honest woman to share my life with and watch with glee from afar as Karma steps in to balance the scales of justice.

I will not lift a finger, nor a pen against them, I wish them a long and happy life, and I know that someday the forces of nature will make things right.

by jay322 103 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 6:29 AM

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You did very well and you should realize that he is actively searching for another. You only know half of the story, believe me. But you did well and I hope his fun is ruined.

by kevinwo 733 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 12:57 AM

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I didn't know chess had die and cards in them Jamesalone ;-) teehee

Well good for you naturespath! I didn't realize you had so recently split from your stbx.

by lifeinpurgatory 1830 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 12:52 AM

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I don't mean anything bad, it's just a throwback to what I went through. I wiss you well, this whole upside down what the heck do I do/expect next is not fun. Brace yourself, be well.

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 12:51 AM

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A nice game of chess, that is priceless, the problem is the dice are stacked and the cards are marked.

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 12:44 AM

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Were here for you.

by Betrayedforaram 451 Posts
Posted on 8/28/2009 12:32 AM

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Well I just got a response from my email to the OW. She said she that my STBXH had told her only a few of the things I mentioned. She said that he was a liar and that he could not be trusted and she wanted nothing to do with him. She said I was right he is MR Charming. She said she was sorry if she caused me pain. I wasn't worried about myself, I have been in the pain for 35 yrs but now I am breaking free.

I know there will be others. Heck there were others during the marriage but at least I saved this soul from a terrible fate. But I am stepping back from his life. I am to good for this kind of mind game. As they say in one of my favorite movies.. Silly game the only thing to do is not play. How about a nice game of chess...

by naturespath 44 Posts
Posted on 8/27/2009 8:58 PM

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Loser is right - he wanted to have his cake and eat it too- But a word of wisdom- you may have headed this one off at the pass but she will probably not be his last.

by mtnvly 3539 Posts
Posted on 8/27/2009 8:12 PM

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