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   Posted to group - Difficult Ex's    <<Previous    Next>>

How should I handle this?

I have 4 children aged 21 to 31. After my divorce (I was married for 3 decades), the kids refused to have any connection with me. I have not heard from them in years. Two of my children have married without inviting me & I even heard that I have 3 grandchildren who I have not met. My attempts to e-mail or call in prior years were always rebuffed. Would anyone have any ideas about having experienced a similar scenario?
by Warren    1 Post   
Posted on 1/18/2008 4:39 PM    
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Answers for "How should I handle this?"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)
I could not go a weekend without seeing my kids!!! Nothing or noone would stop me. My ex has not seen his kids in 3 years My ex, destroyed me. My CHILDREN 13 and 16 at the time knew exactly what was going on. He lied, cheated and stole from all of us. He bought a brand new Harley, beach cottage, travels everywhere like a rock star. He is a narcissist and a sociopath. He sold his kids to be a BIKER and partyboy. . He calls, less and less crying to his children how much he misses them, from the KEYS or wherever his countrywide NEXTEL is.Telling everyone that I had "poisoned his children's minds". This has been a nightmare for myself and I can only imagine what my kids feel like. I despise this man. But I love my kids more and have never tried to stop a relationship. Sorry to go on he has changed me as a person and I cannot afford justice. But here is an FYI maybe all your daughter wanted was for you to say you were sorry and hug her and hold her and not let her believe that any circumstance would stand in your way to keep her from you.
by edie   6 Posts
Posted on 1/23/2008 11:27 AM
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Do you communicate with your exwife at all? 3 decades is a long time together to never talk again. What could have happened, that was so bad to end all communication? I agree with beenthere. If you have an address, send a letter or a card every week. Even if they don't respond to you at least they know you are still trying. Write a letter explaining how you feel. Sometimes it's easier to write things down instead of talking until you can break the ice. I hope it all works out. It would be awful after 3 decades of being a family that you never hear from them again.
by Quincy   38 Posts
Posted on 1/19/2008 9:07 AM
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I'm in a similar situation Warren, and I've done a lot of research (as well as soul-searching). I've concluded that the most important thing to do is not give up. Even if they hang up when you call and your emails and letters are unanswered, you should not assume your message isn't getting through. To stop would mistakenly communicate that you no longer care enough to try. I found this advice hard to take at first, since it's painful to be rebuffed and ignored time and time again. But I've come to understand the importance of letting them know I'll be there anytime they decide to write back or take my call. Good luck.
by beenthere   4 Posts
Posted on 1/19/2008 1:19 AM
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Was it a messy divorce? for some reason the kids seem to blame you. What do they say the reason is? Is dad in the picture?
by Bea4   406 Posts
Posted on 1/18/2008 6:44 PM
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how long have you bee divoced? is there a reason why they didn't want to talk to you?
by Vicki   854 Posts
Posted on 1/18/2008 5:45 PM
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