Once a person changes are we still obligated until death due us part.

To be honest.. people do change, but knowing how they will change and how it may effect your future is soething no one can predict.

For 13 years, Stbx and I had a wonderful marriage... and then things began to change.  Physical limitation required him to slow down a lot more then what either one of us was accustomed too.  As I tried to slow down with him, I became depressed.  We tried desperately to find the compromise where both of us could be happy, but instead we both just seemed to get more and more miserable.  The more we talked, the more we realized that we had begun to head in opposite directions.

While the divorce was his choice, and I did want to try and work on the marriage more.  I'm beginning to think he may have been right to end it now, while we can both still be friendly and civil with each other, then try to hang on for 3,4 or 5 more years till we both ended up bitter and fighting all the time. 

Of course, it's sad to hear the tales like yours where an illness sent the spouse running, instead of sticking by your side to help you through it.  To be honest, if something were to happen to my Stbx, where he needed help or care.. I'd probably be there, married or not, to try and help him through it.

People change continuously.  However, behavior needs to be judged and held accountable.  For example, I realize my ex had problems with anxiety and depression.  However, he CHOSE to kick me to the curb and have an affair because in his words, "Something had to change." 

I agree.  Something did have to change.  I can accept anxiety and depression, but I cannot accept infidelity. 

There are three things that justify an end to a marriage:  addiction, adultery, and abuse.  These three things are behaviors, not the person we married.  I am no match for a porn addiction.  I tried; I couldn't compete.  And I couldn't save the marriage on my own.  For better or worse encompasses many things, but let's not put everything in the pot. 

When i got married, I realized that I a marring this woman for who she is now and who she might become later. I knew it was for better or worse and I willingly said I do.

You are right, most people don't realized this and when they discover their partner has change, they have a hard time dealing with it. I think this is a part of what causes divorce.

Know what you are getting into or don't get into it.

We all promise for better for worse, etc, forsaking all others. We VOW to do this. It isn't just a maybe.

One person changing doesn't obviate the vow.

Some people tell the truth and honor their vows. Others don't. Wouldn't we all like to know who's going to honor their vows and who won't? That's what I'd like to figure out.