Birthday Celebration

Herelgo and everyone else is right. There are not many good things about divorce for kids, but maybe one of them is that you get to have TWO birthdays. Let her have the party. Plan something special for later. Maybe let him invite one or two friends to do something really special like an amusment park or something.  This things are only as big a deal as we make them.

Ok, HIC - well hurtincolorado now since we have yet another gameplayer on the boards....

welcome to divorce with kids.

You have a therapist who feels that shared events are not healthy for your son - it's been told to you guys several times over, also, that you two shouldn't be around each other that much in front of his because of how crappy you are to each other...now school events that are scheduled by a 3rd party can't be helped - BUT stuff like this, personal stuff...you separate.

so, quite frankly, his birthday SHOULDN'T be at one place or the other with both of you in attendance.

If his birthday falls on her time, then she can have the party at her location of choice...YOU can have your party with your friends and your family on another date, at another location.

DO NOT turn the child into the kid who thinks that his birth is only special one day a year - who the frigging hell CARES if he gets TWO parties celebrating the fact he was put on the earth - it took him 9 months to come into the world anyway - his entire gestation is special.

TWO CAKES AND DOUBLE THE GIFTS!!! Whoo hoo! Kid heaven.

Herelgo is exactly right - sod the ex and her petty obnoxiousness.

Instead of giving him what you think he wants (as your ex is no doubt doing) - ask your son what he reeeeally wants, and plan that instead.

Just tell her NEXT time, in the nicest possible way, you'll be making your own plans and she will have to take second best, because fair is fair. :)

I agree with life and hereigo.  It's a big bonus to have 2 parties and holidays!  My children are thrilled!

I think Herelgo has the right idea.

It wasn't because me and my ex were enemies or anything, it's just that we each had our own lives and our own families (parents, grparents, aunts, uncles, etc) that would be involved in holiday get togethers, etc.

My kids didn't mind, they got to celebrate most holidays twice!

Dr.HIC is right you know. You should consider what he is saying. It might get you the help you need.

You claim to be very involved in your son's life, but refuse to go to his birthday party for your own selfish reasons to feel comfortable with your ego. This alone screams out an unhealthy adult and parent who is is real need of mental help.

You claim you can't make this a big deal about it, yet you post it here so really you are making a big deal about it.

You seem to have made this all about you and none about your son who is the one who matters most. You are using your wife as an excuse to avoid your son's life and to cover up your avoidment of your son's life. You are showing very strong unhealthy signs of mental illness and maybe you should check yourself into a mental hospital or care for a 72 hold. There, you can be seen and treated to become a healthy and stable person.

I'm Dr.HIC and if you would like to talk more about your illness, I am always here for you.

HIC,

Take your son and have a party for him on another day.  Talk it over with him and say it's gonna be great because this way he gets TWO birthdays.

It will strip the power play from you ex, and give you an opportunity to have a great birthday for your son.  Sounds like you've got it covered.