would you marry him/her again if......

hell no.  We had a fight on our wedding day.  We fought on our honeymoon.  I thought about getting an annulment when we got back from our honeymoonn but was too chicken to do it.  I should have gotten out then, but was too scared, too young, too proud to ask for help from my family (my older sister is an attorney, for crying out loud) it would have been so much easier and cleaner back then.  But, I stuck it out and now have mortgages and kids and debt that can't just be separated as easy as 1-2-3.

This is a tough one. We were so young when we married, still had so much to learn. I know the things i experienced in our 14 years of marriage helped make me the person i am today. So part of me says, yes i'd do it all over again. BUT, if i knew then what i know now I'd do alot of things differently in the marriage.

heeellll nooooo... Its weird because I was sooo inlove but since day one after the I do´s I knew something was wrong.-- so no... I keep my babies tho lol

I honestly don't know.....

However I know what I would change: I would have gotten to know him before saying "I do." 

We were married when we should have been dating. Maybe we could have built a stronger foundation for our marriage. Maybe if we had been friends first, we wouldn't be where we are now.....

Oh well, it is what it is.

The thing with the thought of one as in one thing is the one does not stand alone or contain it's impact to it's self. Everything is entwine with everything else. To change one thing would to have changing impact upon all those other things that are entwine with that one thing.

Before returning to a life with them again based on changing one thing, it is best to understand how that one thing will impact other things which will cause the entire relationship to change. Understanding this first to ensure both people can accept and live with the impact of the over all change.

Yes I would beleive it or not I truely love her and every min. of are 21 years she is in a M.L.C and a change of life it hit her hard enough that she left me and your 3 kids. I hope that God can show her the way home.

Yeah, I think I would have done it all again, but only because I wouldn't have my 3 kids without him.  But, knowing what I know now, I would have taken those kids, shortly after my youngest one was born and given them a different life. 

There are several things I would loved to have changed about my ex, but it would take too long.  He gets depressed too easily and I think he's turning into an alcoholic.  As the daughter of one, I know you can't change them, they have to WANT to change.  I'm not sure he does since Mommy and Daddy are STILL taking care  of him.

No, no, no. If I could have changed one thing it would be to have then said, No! Then I would have run.

Probaby not.  The only thing you can change is yourself.  I tried changing, improving myself, become more forgiving, more compassionate, more passonate.  Made a ton of progress and everyday have more to improve upon.  But It was never enough to satisy her.  I could do 9 out of 10 things on the to do list for the day or weekend, and all that was recognized or complained about was the 1 thing left open.

The "other thing" or things that needed changing in the relationship was her negative attitude about life.  Again, I'm only responsible for my part, my behavior.  While not perfect I', pretty sure more rational women would have loved to be with me as I was faithful, successful in career, a loving and doting father, fully connected in theri lives.  She aLways had  a complaint, always had and still has, a pessimist attitude.  Separated for a year, not once did she try to reconcile or attend counseling  or acknowldege some of the problems we had she was responsbile for.  How you can wake the day and be angry at all thats wrong, instead of giving thanks to the LORD for all thats right, and enjoying all thats good still bothers me very much.  That was the problem and now 13 years later, and hours of therapy makes me realize that she did me a favor by pushing me out of her life and the beautiful home we had together.

I am hopeful though that one day she will realize that I wasn't the source of her happiness, that it was her decision everyday to be that way and not try to dig deeper as to the real causes of her unhappiness.  Running off with other divorce girlfreinds to go drinking and dancing or start dating her trainer at the gym will not provide the real happiness that GOD intends marriage to provide.  I gave and gave, and kept getting turned out.....time to move forward and be thankful for all the LORD has provided in my life

I too am married to a narcissistic sociopath, so my answer would be a resounding NO! 

When we met he was charming and loving and made me feel special.  But shortly after the 'I-do's' his true personality started to emerge, and when he'd taken everything I had worked so hard for over the years and there was nothing left but me, he high-tailed it to the next woman/victim. 

There is nothing a narcissistic sociopath won't do to get his/her way....no matter what it takes or who he/she has to run over in the process.  My stbx took over 11 years of my life - I'll be damned if he gets one second more.

My ex ended up being a narcissistic sociopath.  He sold his kids to be the "fun-gi" who travels the country on his $30,000 Harley searching for his TREASURE! (His quote on the personal ad he had run. He was given a $50 a month child support order. ) He is an antique dealer.  I supported OUR business financially and emotionally for 7 years with the intentions of joining him once our last child was in college. We had a specific itinerary that would of led to a great mid life for us both. Unfortunately I discovered he had other plans.The things he has done to myself as well as his children are frightening. It has been 5 years and he still tortures us. IHe has changed me as a person, how I look at Attorneys, Judges, and the   laws of Family Court. 
HOWEVER......... I feel some peace when I can honestly say I never regret marrying him because of the 2 beautiful children he gave me.  

We had split up after my daughter and reunited, I wish I never went back!

Difference being, he left the final time when my son was entering college. (We had started  antique collections for the kids my son at 7 and ours at birth, to secure a future.. he has refused to release them and flat out denied them in court, 1 year prior helping him establish credit I cosigned a loan for him, as well as adding him onto credit cards of mine he renigged on the loan as well as $50,000 in credit debt, we had sold a painting making a profit of $320,000 (yup he had the payment made out to his brother)  and to top it off I lost my job of 9 years, the company moved to South America. Unbeknownst to me , he bought his Harley, put $35,000 down on a beach cottage, moved into his family home that is his in Trust, went to the Super Bowl and then onto Florida till March. My home went into foreclosure I was forced into bankruptcy assuming all debt while receiving  $50 a month support. 

Sorry for the LONG answer!!!! But that question has haunted me.

Truth me known - I miss him terribly.  I actually loved him for better or worse- but I would not ever want to be in another relationship with him.  I knew everything I know now about him when I married him and I could not change anything to our advantage even with, quote my sister, the most Bible thumping rehab in the United States on my side.  So the answer is no.  He has bigger issues than my love and support could fix.

Hell. Naw.

'nuff said.

Yes but only because it put me where I am today.  The last 9 months have contained such incredible growth and learning, I can't imagine doing it any different.  If that means doing the whole damn beautiful, painful, ugly, awesome thing again.  Then yep, I'm in.

Marry him again?  Absolutely!

Nope!  I keep trying to imagine my life without him right now...and I can't.  Because he does everyone for me to make me feel helpless so then I won't want to be without him.  But I know I was happier before I met him.  Out of the three years of marriage there has been more bad than good.  No one can trust an alcoholic for one thing and for another, lie after lie...no one believed the boy who cried wolf.  And I don't trust him at all about anything.

YES YES.....I will love him all my life ! I spent 22 years with him ..Some good some bad he is the father of my kids. He is a part of my life and will always be.......I guess i need help..How can I love him?

No I would not marry him again. There would be more than one thing that would need to be changed. Also I see where my life is going and I am so happy right now. So no there is not enough time in this life to change him and myself to make that marriage ever work.

That is a tough question. Part of me would say yes, I'd marry him again just so I could do to him what he did to me ( have him find porn sites on my computer, ' unexplained gifts on top shelf of closet, hundreds of misdialed numbers on my caller ID, cheat on him and then turn it around as " His Fault", destroy his excellent credit, play mind games to the point he wonders about his own sanity and his ability to make a decision, lie about everything while looking him in the eye, have him give up his home, family, job only to dump him 6 months later without remorse and then blantently flaunt the new bf with family, friends and post it all online)

The other side says not just no but " HELL NO !!" I wished I'd of taken that cruise I promised myself instead of coming home that day and finding him in my parking lot, acting all lovey dovey and feeding me crap about how much he missed me and wanted to get married.

I wish he would have married the slut to start with, since they married 4 weeks after divorce was final. I believe in Karma, so they will get what it was they have sown..........

NO.

Hell NO.

But if I could change one thing, I'd make it to where she married someone else, built a great life,  and he cheated on HER.

Wow, THAT felt pretty good.

No! wouldn't do it again.  I know the girls were a gift from God, so if I had just not "settled" I would still have kids and quite possibly a wife rather than an ex.

Absolutely no.  I would marry him again for the same reason I gave before.  (I was already pregnant, so consider myself bound to at least giving it a try.)  But like some of you, I was already pregnant, so the kids isn't a good reason (we only have one). But to change ONE thing?  What a pitifull drop in such a huge bucket of issues!!  Like some of you, the only thing I would go back and do is not try so hard.  Leave the first time I found out about his cheating behavior and never let myself get talked, coerced, or guilt-tripped into coming back.

Yes, I would marry him again.  I would have those three beautiful children.  I wouldn't have tried reconciling, quit my good job, etc.  I would have up and left him three years earlier when the stock market was strong, cashed out his 401K, and be living the high life with those three beautiful children.

Hypothetical question, but interesting.  Hard to accept all that's happened, so I don't think I'd subject my son our myself to that kind of uncertainty again.

Hell NO!!! he was not worth my home, family, and friends that I left in Ohio.  I did find God in the midst of my sadness!!