EMERGENCY PLEASE HELP TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE NOW !

EMERGENCY SITUATION !!!! PLEASE HELP !!!!

Here's my situation folks lol.....what a mess....I've been separated since 2003 6 + yrs.Filed for divorce 5+ yrs ago and was advised at the time to just collect if he refuses to do nothing about it.SOOO here we are in 2008 I find a decent man to share my life with and push to get divorced so I can move on with my life.(he has been dating a woman and many others since I left)His lawyer sends me notice that he has no INTENTION of not moving forward and allowing me to keep collecting....well now its over a year later.I have primary Physical custody.I will also state that with his fathers permission we have moved out of state.My son went to his dads for summer vacation.Now I am being told that my son wants to live there full time.My son cannot talk to me without his father being present and I can hear mumbling in the background.My son is vague about anything I ask him.When I ask him when he is coming home he says I dunno yet.My son has been told by his father the amount of Child support I get would be spent on him if he came to live with him many months ago.Now its crunch time and school is about to start.My ex has had months to ratify this situation but now I am going to be the bad guy because now I have to FORCE my son to come home because of the custody order.But thats the way my ex plays the game.His fathers home is not a good enviornment for my son to be in 1. he is allowed to come and go anytime anywhere.stay up all night sleep all day and get up at 3pm.Play ps3 till the sun don't shine,no chores,no discipline etc you get the picture.Here we have rules and set play times for ps3.Homework first.then play time.there are a few chores to do such as mowing keeping room clean,hygene issues.shower,teeth etc.which we fight with him on all the time and he just had $2000 worth of dental work done. MY QUESTION IS : HOW DO I DEAL WITH HIS ANGER AND FRUSTRATION WHEN I GO PICK HIM UP ? ITS A 4 HR DRIVE1 WAY...ITS A LEGAL ISSUE AND MY LAWYER IS SENDING HIM PAPERS TO RETURN HIM BACK TO ME BY A CERTAIN DATE AND TIME....OR HE WILL BE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT....HIS FATHER ALWAYS TRIES TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE OGRE AND ALMOST ALWAYS SUCCEEDS.HIS FATHER HAS BAITED HIM ALL SUMMER LONG.

by AnnieB 7 Posts
Posted on 8/12/2009 5:16 AM

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Tags: children , kids , anger , custody battle , divorce and custody , visitation , childs wishes ,

Answers for "EMERGENCY PLEASE HELP TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE NOW !" (9) (You must be logged in to answer)

HAHAHA i saw follow under you icon thought that was your name lol.... sorry lovemeknot

by AnnieB 7 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 8:58 PM

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I understand your comment follow ...Thanks.....I realize it can go either way......

by AnnieB 7 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 8:56 PM

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I say this with only care so don't get angry.

Don't be surprised with what may happen. Pray, always pray. Ask for strenght to handle what may come your way. It a tough journey.

At that age, he is more than likely wanting to be with his father. And at that age, there may be no stopping it. Best of luck and prayers

by Lovemeknot 240 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 7:40 PM

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My son turns 16 on the 19th of August he may be of age but maturity wise he is still only 12-14. He is old enough to get a driving permit where I live but he says he is not ready.If he is not ready to drive a car then I feel he is not ready to make a life changing decision that will affect the rest of his life !!!!

by AnnieB 7 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 3:24 PM

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Thank you all for your comments and support......HAHAH guess what I got today in the mail a DRO to terminate or modify support ASSHOLE weasel underhanded tactics I tell ya ....But I do have one GREAT thing working in my favor and watching out for my son and I and thats the LORD ! He see's all !!!! Knows ALL ! and he will see to it that HIS WILL be done not mione not my son's nor the EX TO BE ! Now if I could just stop crying ! The pain is really hard to suppress.But I will make it t\hrough.

by AnnieB 7 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 2:31 PM

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The age of the child is a big factor. There is a big difference between the child being 17 or being 7 when choosing where they want to live.

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 11:50 AM

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There are 2 ways of parenting here and yours is the most beneficial. Your son doesn't have much say in the matter (I think) and it is a matter for the courts. Since your sons life will be altered if he stayed (change of school), it is only reasonable to approach that angle with your ex and even your son. Sometimes kids do suffer. Remember that the way we solve our problems defines who we are. You are on the right track as you MUST be a parent first and then a friend second. Whatever happens, keep your son on the straight and narrow, even if he doesnot come back to you, he will conclude in the future that you were the real parent. Your rewards will be great! Kev

by kevinwo 732 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 2:11 AM

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I would try and find away to speak with your son alone before you get to upset. Drive down and take him for a meal and just see if he offeres up what is going on. Don't hound him with a bunch of questions, ease into it and see how he feels.

I also would like to know the age of your son before commenting futher.

Hang in there...

by Lovemeknot 240 Posts
Posted on 8/12/2009 9:19 PM

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How old is the child involved?

It sounds like you are going through the appropriate chanels with the courts and your lawyer to have your custody order enforced.

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 8/12/2009 12:14 PM

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