How do you let go of the hate?

After divorcing her for catching her having an affair for the second time, the court awarded her physical custody of our son, the paid off car, the house, and a large spousal support award (child and spousal support is about 77% of my takehome pay with the amount of spousal support being five times as much as the child support). Now I'm working my tail off to give her all the money while having to live homeless in my van or on the good graces of friends and relatives. She's got that affair guy (who has no job) moving in with her and they're planning another trip to Hawaii.

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 6:04 PM

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Tags: anger , letting go

Answers for "How do you let go of the hate?" (9) (You must be logged in to answer)

Run this by Spaz...something not right. Since there is a cut in pay you should be able to reduce the pay.

by vlady 2123 Posts
Posted on 7/21/2009 8:56 AM

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I don't believe in Alimony. Never have. Let her get off her ass and get a job.
I know I will get crucified for that but that is how I feel. It's nice to stay home and not work and while you are married that is fine if you both agreed to that but since she had the time to manage not one but two affairs, then she needs to work and support herself. Supporting your son is very important. Supporting her is bullshit!

by Kay46514 229 Posts
Posted on 7/21/2009 7:10 AM

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Flutterby, I think the hate will end in four more years with the alimony ends.

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 8:41 PM

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I made more money the prior year and they went off of the W2 when setting spousal support. Now I've taken a pay cut and no longer have overtime hours available (they're not being offered).

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 8:39 PM

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And when you figure out how to let go of the hate, let me know.

by flutterby 829 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 8:36 PM

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If this is correct then you got SCREWED my dear friend. It just appears that something is missing.

by flutterby 829 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 8:35 PM

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Well, I get $2600 to take home after taking a pay cut at the beginning of the year. Child and spousal support are $2000 per month. Car payment and insurance plus $35 for a health club membership where I shower & shave is about $600 per month. Leaves me about $200 to live on. She takes home $1800 per month.

by SpitTheDummy 124 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 8:23 PM

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This sounds odd to me.

At the least, go to your employer and do your w-2 over again. You don't pay tax on the money you give her, she does. I'd guess if it's 77% of take home, it's about half of gross. Once you fix the tax you should be getting about half as much take home as you did before.

Apart from that, i don't know what to tell you. I don't know enough of your situation.

by bluebird 1157 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 7:50 PM

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How did all this come about? Are all (3) kids yours and her's? Your "my story" didn't have much info. You said she had two affairs while you were married, were you able to get any leniency from the courts for that? What made her cheat on you initially? I feel like there's a big chunk of the story we're missing. Didn't your lawyer tell you what you were in for prior to going to court?

by lifeinpurgatory 1830 Posts
Posted on 7/20/2009 6:46 PM

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