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  Posted to group - Laughing Today    <<Previous    Next>>

Curtain Rods

On the first  day, she sadly packed her belongingsinto boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. 

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their  beautiful dining-room table by candlelight; she put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of spring water. When she'd  finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left her beautiful home.

On the fourth day, the husband came back with his girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.

 

Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing out the place.  Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought into set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for afew days -- and in the end, they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

 

Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

 

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer and decided they had to move; but a month later -- even though they'd cut their price in half -- they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors  refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they  had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to  purchase a new place. About that time, our ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.  She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of  what the house had been worth .... but only if she  would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A  week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.....

....and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain  rods!

I  LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T  YOU?


by eclectic   268 Posts 
Posted on 7/9/2009 1:54 PM
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Answers for "Curtain Rods"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)




lol!  that was great, so was yours greengrass.

by lifeinpurgatory   1830 Posts
Posted on 7/9/2009 7:45 PM
0





HAHA. That's even better than the 3 mice (hopefully a mix of male and female) and pile of corn that I put in the couch that the girlfriend just had to have from my house. Well, they put it in storage while he built her a fab new house.  The house will be done in two weeks and I can't wait till they open that storage unit!
by greengrass   113 Posts
Posted on 7/9/2009 2:40 PM
1





I've read that before and I love it!  If only I could be that clever...
by flutterby   829 Posts
Posted on 7/9/2009 2:32 PM
0





I have read this before and can't help but smile each and every time...lol
by vlady   2123 Posts
Posted on 7/9/2009 2:05 PM
0







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