Dad's chances of custody

My wife wants a divorce but I do not. Nothing has been filed yet but I do want to prepare myself for the worst. We have a 5 year old son and I have been the primary care giver to him his ENTIRE life with the exception of his first 6 months when my wife was out of work. First 3 years of his life I took care of him by myself Friday, Saturday and Sunday. On Monday thru Thrusday I took care of him by myself from the time he woke up till about 3pm. At 3pm I would go to work and be home by his bed time almost all the time. The last 2 years I have taken care of him by myself on Monday thru Thrusday, from the time he gets up till 7pm when my wife would come home. He goes to bed at 8pm so my wife see's him 1 hour per day during the week. On Friday he goes to a baby sitter as my wife and I both work those days but I am usually the one to pick him up around 5pm. Saturday and Sunday a I am working and home by 5pm and my wife is home those 2 days with him. I am the one who takes him to the Dr, to get hair cuts, feeds him all his meals and basically does everything a child needs done. I am like a Mr. Mom it feels. I have always had a problem with how much my wife worked too. My wife knows how good of a Daddy I am, everyone does. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to spend the time I do with him. I told my wife that with our schedules and the circumstances that I felt like our son would end up being with me 4 days per week (my off days and how his schedule is right now) and her the other 3 days. She seems to think otherwise simply because "she is his Mother" !! Do I have a good chance if our marriage gets to this point? I hope to work things out and will hope that until the very end.

by Mike71 6 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 7:18 AM

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Tags: father , divorce , custody , joint , shared , support , child

Answers for "Dad's chances of custody" (7) (You must be logged in to answer)

Mike 71,

I'm in the same situation as you however, I haven't been doing it as long as you. We too, are seeing if we can work out but mom has been leaving the house on a regular basis because she's so "stressed out." I have 3 boys ages 13,11 and 9. I don't know what will happen in my case but I've told everyone I will fight for the boys because mom is not there right now not has she been there for 10 months.

by bflsnowman 6 Posts
Posted on 7/17/2009 12:29 AM

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Thanks for the info. I know neither of us would want to keep our son from the other one. I do know my wife at the beginning of this thought she had a chance to get custody and thought she would drop him off with me while she worked and that was it. Also, she wanted me to go to my parents house every night but I didn't want to leave the house because I was worried about abandonment. I doubt my wife would accuse me of that but you never know how things might go if they got nasty.

Either way I hope we can move forward now as neither of use wants to break up our family.

by Mike71 6 Posts
Posted on 7/5/2009 6:55 AM

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If that is the case, considering your current situation - a judge would have NO PROBLEMS at all with setting a 50/50 situation. =)

glad to hear you are working it out =)

by spaznskitz 7625 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 11:17 PM

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Thanks for the info. I never meant full custody, I meant joint or shared. Either way it looks like we are going to work out everything which is good news.

by Mike71 6 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 6:09 PM

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My suggestion to the two of you, is to not fight over your son - your situation is as such to where a 50/50 completely joint custody arangement would be IDEAL for everyone - mostly your son. There is no "primary", neither of you have more say than the other. It could be worked to where one week you have 4 days, she has 3, and the next week, or every 2nd week it switches.

You two are already one step ahead of most divorcing couples, with your different shifts you are comfortable with the changing of the guard when it comes to parental duty.

This is not something the two of you have to come to blows over.

by spaznskitz 7625 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 2:25 PM

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With few exceptions, gone are the days when the mother is automatically assumed to be the best parent for custody, depending on which state you live in. If you can prove you were the primary caregiver, your chances are increased for custody of your child.

Spaznskitz is a family law attorney who should be able to advise you on your situation. She checks pretty regularly, but with the holiday might be scarce so be patient, and best of luck.

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 11:21 AM

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Hi Mike,

Sorry so hear that you are going through this but i would consult some attorneys and see what your chances are. you should ask spaz who is the family attorney here on the site. she might be able to give you a little more help..you seem to be a wonderful dad. i hope things go your way, i hope you can work things out with your wife..good luck..keep us posted here ok

cherbear

by cherbear 5180 Posts
Posted on 7/4/2009 8:07 AM

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