2nd Question

It's taken me forever to get angry.  The OW helps alot because just when I think he might be sane, she emails me one of her rants and it makes me realize what a spineless, a-hole he really is.  I have a hard time because he left me for a less than desirable woman and it has wreaked havoc on my self-esteem.  My counselor reminds me that he was so full of self-loathing and that he doesn't have any self-worth so he had to find someone that was beneath him.  And, I have to keep reminding myself that he tried to fool me and stay "separated" for 2 years to avoid child support.  I just have to keep remembering all the deceit and try and stay angry until we both sign on the dotted line.  Then I can get on with my life, with my 2 wonderful daughters and leave all the negative emotions behind me.  Good luck!

Ya, the anger took a while to seep in. When it did, though, I hung onto it in tough times and it actually helped quite a bit. You can't hold it too tightly for too long, though. It's a healthy, natural emotion to be felt just like all the others.

I gave away far too much money to the x. It took me nearly a year to feel really angry. I'm angry now. I have wasted time and money on getting him to honor our agreement.

Now I want him to burn in hell. I hate him. I wish I had felt this way sooner. At least now i'd be rich and angry instead of poor and angry. Stupid me. When he left I wanted him to come back.

I think the whole seperation/divorce/after divorce thing is a huge rollercoaster of emotions.

You may be okay one day, crying your eyes out the next, depressed, mad next.

Just allow yourself to go through whatever emotions you need to get it out of your system.  Everyone reacts differently.  Just don't hold yours in.  Take care.

i think many of us here can relate to this question.  there are the basic kubler ross stages of grief...denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance.

but....not everyone goes thru the stages in order...and most go thru them multiple times...jumping from stage one to three and then back again.

so, many times shock and survival mode set in and all you can do is just wake up, eat (maybe), be shocked and then sleep.  no time/place for anger.

i think it's all normal.