i don't get it

Thank you all for your  writing back, some of the things you all wrote are kind of what i thought too, she acts as if nothing has happend, and we could just be friends, sometimes when i drop the kids off, they will ask me to come in and have dinner with them and stuff and sometimes i do cause i want to spend time with the girls still( and i do enjoy being with her) but of course i know the marriage is over, Then when i leave is like what was so harmful about me and her being together that she just had to leave the marriage.I mean we got along well, and i was completely commited to her, sure alot had passed before but it had been the best years of the marriage. Now i think to myself, is it worth it to her to leave the marriage, the pain to the kids the loss to everyone, then i ask myself i must be so wothless to her that she had to do all this.

It's possible that while she may feel not capable of making the grand gesture of staying married to you, she is still capable of the smaller gestures of love and acknowledgment, like the Father's Day card.

Obviously it's difficult to get through one of these holidays without thinking about the person in your life who best or most immediately, most significantly, represents them. I didn't get a Mother's Day card from him; I never do. He was the one who left. I don't really mind. I let school be where our child navigates the gift or card-making of these holidays. And even despite a horrific divorce, this year I still thought long and deep about a book I wanted to make for him for Father's Day. It would be "from" his child, but made by me. It would be beautiful. It would be worth doing. And in the end I saved myself a lot of time and some cash; did not make the book.

I'm sorry we are all so confusing to each other during endings like these. Whatever else is going on, the card might just be a card, and that's why I don't send them. And whatever else is going on, I'm sending big prayer up for you. I hope your day is peaceful, clear, full of love. That's for all you dads. *hugs you*

I find that a lot of times they dont know what they arefeeling and think that things will be better with someone else, but they aren't sure so it's safer and easier to be back and forth with things.

That's a tough one, it could be that she has had a change of heart.  Or she may just be that she is having mixed emotions.  If you two are talking, ask her, but pay more attention to her body language it speaks volumes more than words.  If she seems genuine maybe there is hope, if not you will know it's all show and can move on knowing it's what needs to be done.  Be well.