How to handle the STBX badmouthing me to mutual friends.....

My STBX and I have some mutual friends and I am finding it very difficult to handle the divorce issue as far as they are concerned. I am a private person and feel embarassed to let all our dirty little secrets out. Especially, bc of his porn/SA and then serial dating, now he is running around with an 18 year old. I am not perfect, but I have my priorities in order am taking care of the kids and working. He is VERY mad at me bc he feels I am holding his 60 inch TV hostage and he wants it. Its marital property. I have a right to it until we settle. He withheld my tax refund money last week until my lawyer issued a demand and he is mean, spiteful and vindictive during exchanges all of which I ignore and just roll my eyes. As far as parenting time, he gets plenty. He sees our baby every other day for 3 hours plus weekends for 3 hours at a time. He is the one who drops the baby off early - bc he has plans with his GF. Anyway, goes to show you where his priorities are. POint is, he has been telling our friends what a b**** I am and he has been bad mouthing me to everyone - even our financial planner!!!! The truth is, he has turned everything around - everything he is doing, he is blaming me of doing which is UNTRUE! He is also playing the "poor me" routine with our female friends. He claims that I threw him out for no good reason and bc I am a Control freak and that I am now withholding our baby from him. All UNTRUE! Breathe. I am upset. Trying not to let it get to me. Waiting for the settlement. So far, I am keeping a low profile to save dignity but I feel that he is pulling our friends to his corner and , by my silence, I am letting him win. A few arent taking sides, but some are...they only know his side, so they believe him. I want to tell them what he has been up to and spill the beans and the truth!!!I wont do anything til after settlement/trial. Should I make contact and I tell our friends the truth?? Post the pics of him and his 18 year old GF?? Post all the porn logs?? Post his nasty emails? Or, just let it all go.....but how???? What have you all done?

by AnaBella72 193 Posts
Posted on 6/20/2009 8:15 PM

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Tags: friends , ex , relationshipm , divorce , custody , choosing sides

Answers for "How to handle the STBX badmouthing me to mutual friends....." (1) (You must be logged in to answer)

i always tell people the old saying.There are 3 sides to every story.Yours, his,and the truth.Trying to defend yourself all the time will just drain you.your true friends will know the truth in the long run or they are not worth having.Remember to always take the high road and it will pay off in the long run.He will entangle himself in his own lies.Try to communicate through tex,s and e-mails if you can.This gives you records the divorce and he will have to watch what he says since you will have proof.If you have any conversations that can make a difference in court make sure you do it all in writing.I tex my x (theres a song in that phrase) with all conversations.Hope this helps,good luck.

by keizersolsei 3 Posts
Posted on 6/20/2009 11:50 PM

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