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SUMMER VISITATION

My daughter at the time of the divorce was just 4 and in pre-school. I withdrew her at the end of April and thought nothing of it. The papers read for his summer visitation that he gets her the Friday after school lets out for 2 weeks. Our divorce was final on May 1st and I did let him know that she was out of school that first week in May....of course I had to listen to him rant and rave but he never pushed the issue of getting her.....so, I thought to myself i guess he will just go by when out county school district gets out...which was may 22nd....that means his summer visitation would have been may 29th- june 14th...which he did not take either.....I was kinda waiting around for that phone call.....which brings me to now....he keeps saying "I WILL BE TAKING MY SUMMER VACATION".....well, I have already made my plans for a 10 day church retreat with my girls in July which she will miss the 1st weekend if he is not willing to take another weekend....I just dont feel its fair that he miss his time and still threaten me on contempt charges...am I right or wrong here? Did he miss his summer vacation? I am scared that one weekend he is gonna just keep her and not give her back to me for 2 weeks....could he does this?

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 2:26 AM

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Answers for "SUMMER VISITATION" (11) (You must be logged in to answer)

If you are getting verbally abused on the phone why don't you tell him you will no longer speak with him on the phone if that is the way he is going to act.

I never speak with my STBX on the phone. All communication with him is in writing. After 6 months he STILL doesn't get that I won't speak with him any longer. He calls and I never answer. He leaves VM messages which I save on my computer.

I hope it worked out for you.

by BecksMom 232 Posts
Posted on 11/4/2009 8:48 AM

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SPAZ....so him NOT EVER CALLING is going to be my fault in the end? So, its partly my responsibility that he EXERCISE his own visitation rights? I guess I could have phone records pulled to show that he NEVER EVER calls...not even to check on her much less discuss when he is getting her for the summer....ALL HE DOES IS YELL AT ME AND SAYS "I WILL GET HER" you blank blank blank blank!!!! And frankly I am tired of being cursed at on the phone and getting to the point of just hitting ignore because I do in fact have a life that he is disturbing! I shouldnt have to listen to that bull crap!

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/20/2009 5:27 PM

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You have other issues you want to bring to the table in court (per our private conversation) it is NOT adviseable to put yourself in a position where you will not be favored by the judge prior to bringing up other issues.

Hear me?

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 6/19/2009 5:44 PM

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The fact of the matter is, both parents have to work together when it comes to parenting time - it is not just up to him to make arrangments as far as when he will pick her up, you have to be proactive in trying to establish it as well.

SK - you can't act like you own your child it can bite you severely in the ass later. He is legally entitled to two weeks in the summer, the fact this first year the timing ends up off happens - and a court is going to look VERY badly on you if you don't work to accomodate him for the time he's entitled to.

He has a valid argument about date discrepancy if it goes to court - and you also can't exactly prove he didn't try - and if you, for the remainder of the summer,keep denying him his two weeks, it will look to the court like you denied him in the first place as well.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 6/19/2009 5:43 PM

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And to top that off...I had not gotten any child support from him since May of 2008 and paying for the preschool myself.....I needed a break and decided to take her out 22 days early and I was wrong? He was informed.....

Okay, so had I NOT informed him and he just assumed she got out of school May 22nd....then why didnt he call for her?

That was his time...he past it up....I am not giving him another 2 weeks during the summer....I can work with him to keep me out of jail as far as a couple days here and a couple days there but nope his time past, so oh freaking well!

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 9:38 PM

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It was pre-school....something not even mandatory (like daycare)....however they follow our same county school district guidelines as far as when school lets out....I just feel like he had plenty of time....in fact 2 different opportunities to get her.....I am beginning to wonder if the non-custodial parent has more rights than the custodial parent...it seems to me, the law is always in his favor.

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 9:19 PM

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Well, by your own admission you withdrew the child from school earlier than it would have been in the first place so you went against the order yourself (sortof) - as well as the two of you were not communicating effectively on what date would be considered "end of school year"...so both of you were wrong - bottom line is he is entitled to his two weeks.

In that this is the first year a court really isn't going to look badly on either of you for confusion on a start date...so bringing it to court if he exercises his two week period at a time you don't really want him to is going to be a fruitless wallet draining experience.

Try your hardest to nail something down with him before your church retreat...

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 6:24 PM

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SPAZ how could he do that if the papers state specifically when he gets her for the summer? wouldnt that be going against the papers?

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 2:45 PM

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To answer the question about taking the child and not giving her back for two weeks, yes - he could do that.

Otherwise, stepdad gave you the advice I would have.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 1:32 PM

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Good advice! Thanks!

by SKelly 265 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 9:54 AM

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It will be important for you to document in an email that per the divorce decree (attach a copy of that section to the email) and reiterate that it states he is to exercise his vacation time from the friday after school lets out for 2 weeks. State that his time has gone by and he has missed the time. State that you have your summer plans scheduled and that you will be taking her with you on your vacation. To show that you are willing to work with him state that in the spirit of cooperation you will be willing to allow him to reschedule his two weeks on the dates that would work for you. (give dates) (This will help you if you have to go to court in the future to show that you are reasonable and flexible but also that you have your plans and priorities for your time with your daughter. In my experiences this spoke volumes as to the cooperative parent and will keep you on the high road in the eyes of the court.

by Stepdad 8 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 8:36 AM

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