Keep fighting or give in again?

The children are 9 and 15.  A boy and a girl.  I forgot to mention that the mother has had them share a bedroom always with the exception of one year, since the divorce.  And she has moved five times already (here in town).  Three of the moves were into her parents home with her entire family.

We do have an attorney working on it and I have been documenting lots of the information and so forth. 

We found out that she plans on changing the childrens last name to her current husband's last name, if when, she moves out of state with the children.  We fear that if the court allows her to move the children out of state, that we will never see them again.  She is that type of person.

We also found out that she is having an affair with someone else in front of the children.  Her current husband is out of state, living where she wants to move to.  According to our state laws, she has to have a home already set up in order to move out of state with the children.  She moved her husband out of state during the children's spring break, approximately 2 months ago.

this is horrific.  why is this going on?  how long has it been like this?  how old are the children?  

she can not do this.  it's considered parental alienation and judges do not look kindly on this sort of thing.

she can not move out of state without the fathers permission and she can not refuse access, in person and via phone, with the father.

sounds like you need to go to court and have this explained to her by a judge.

meanwhile.  the father needs to become more active. he needs to call the schools and find out when/where school actitivies are.  he needs to show up to them.  he need to call nightly to talk to his kids and insist they are put on the phone or buy them a cell phone that is just for him to talk to them.

he can buy a web cam and talk to them via the computer in real time as well.

he can send letters and postcards and confirm they are getting them.