his girlfriend and my kids

The lack of disrespect that this man is showing you is only an example of how your kids are being "taught and trained" to treat other people in their lives. Do you want your kids to grow up and do this to their wifes/husbands? If the answer is no, then you need to do something about this right now...today, not tomorrow, now..YOU ARE ENABLING THIS MAN to continue to do this to you. You do not deserve this. Listen to me, you do not deserve this.Say it to yourself. If you can't do it for you right now, do it for your kids...they dont deserve this. You must get support for yourself. You need to get counseling, this piece of shit doesnt care about anyone but himself. TAKE CONTROL!!! He had a family and cant just abandon them because he decides he wants a girlfriend. What type of relationship will  he and his girlfriend  ever have? When things get rough in that relationship and the everyday life sets in, they will both start fearing the other one, and trust issues will set in. You see they will not trust each other ---ever, they will both resort back to this incident when they built their relationship on audultery. Smile everyday knowing that. In the meantime, don't let him do this to you or your kids. TELL HIM NO! God will deal with him, you need to deal with yourself and your kids..

Tell him it is time for him to leave- what he is doing is wrong! The message it sends your kids is total confusion! They know you are having problems- even if you haven't told them.
Start thinking about YOU and THEM! He is using you! He needs to move on! Protect your kids from his stupidity- AND make sure you have the morality clause in your agreement- NO OVERNIGHTS with anyone of the opposite sex!

if the kids don't know about the divorce, then what are they thinking when they see this other woman with dad when he takes them out? Aren't they wondering who she is and what she's doing there instead of you being with him? I know they are young but I would think this just sends the kids a message that something is wrong somewhere, doesn't it? If it were me, I wouldn't worry about whether he has to pay or not because they are his kids too. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I wish you the best.

If you kick him out, he will have to pay and maybe he won't be able to marry her. He won't have enough money. He's just using you. His financial problems are not your problems. His obligation is to support his own children, and if you haven't been working, you, until you can get on your feet. If he has to live in a one room shack until he pays that, this is his problem, not yours. He's made his choice. He has to suffer the consequences.

This takes the cake.  I'm speechless.  All of your thinking and actions should be about what is best for YOU and your KIDS.  This man thinks of neither.  Leave if you have to.  The house will be an asset you discuss later in the settlement.

He should move out, if he can't afford to do so now. without paying you? How is he going to afford a new wife?  It's thinking with the little head and not the big head!  My EX tried to live with us & at his little love nest.  First court date, he was out of my house, and order to pay child support, alimony, and got only a few hours a week to see his kids, with a scolding from the Judge about not taking care of his family first meaning kids and me.  And an order that his girlfriend was not to be around the kids at that time.  As it was made a point of her being fit?  She has two kids did not have custody of them, then there was also the question about her being legal?  I walked out smiling, he walked out crying!! Oh well

How do you live with this situation on a daily basis? Are you ok with the affair? I couldn't live with my husband having an affair because I was still in love with him (13 years together, 8 years of marriage and a 7 month old baby). The betrayal and cruelty made me sick and I constantly threw up living with him.

I wish I could have kept my son away from "her" but my STBX lied to me constantly about her. he even flew several states away and moved her 30 minutes from us and moved in with her...lying to me the whole time about everything. The courts didn't care about anything he did just that our son gets to spend time with his father. They could care less about "another woman" or the instable environment my son was in, or that my husband never told me the truth about where my son was, or that when my STBX had custody of our son he'd leave him with my STBX's mother and my STBX would spend the night with his mistress.

The courts just don't care about morals or stability or how any of this affects the children. They say that children can adjust to anything and that they are "resiliant". I say that is bullshit. I know way too many adults (including my STBX) that are still dealing with mommy and daddy issues from childhood that are severely affecting their adulthood and the choices they make.

I wish you the best of luck.

I had a similar experience with my ex. He had become "friends" with a women almost half his age. She came to the house almost daily and became friends with our kids. I didn't like the way she was always around and how familiar she and my ex had become. I confronted him about this emotional affair he was having and he admitted to it. It wasn't too much later that I had proof of much more. When I confronted him with that he blamed the affair on me. I knew I couldn't afford the house payments so I moved out. She didn't move in but may as have. they married 6 weeks after our divorce was final. The good news is karma always comes back to pay a visit. He has gained 60 pounds since I left, has health problems and no insurance and is losing the house. The tough stuff however is that divorce does affect the kids. Our oldest (14) took it the hardest while our youngest (9) is much more resilient. No one gets away scott free with divorce, it affects everyone it touches. My advice is to either kick him out or leave with your children. Do not disparage your stbx within the childrens earshot. And both of you need to tell the kids together about the divorce. Some ground rules need to be set. It's hard but learn to forgive, and never be unfair or make his life a living hell, karma can come back to you too. Peace and serentity to you.

I hate to say this because it sounds mean but your husband should not be doing this but at this point I do not think he cares.  He will cause confusion in your children's lives but you are also doing that.  Why is he still living there?  Why are you protecting him so he does not have to pay?  You need to make the final decision and kick him out.  Your children will see that they have a strong mother who does not put up with there father having so little respect for her.  He obviously does not respect you or he would not be doing that.  KICK HIM OUT and move on!  There are better men out there!

this guy is unbelievable. ive been divorced for 2 months and still live home. im about to move out in a week or so though. to think he would bring another woman into the picture when the children dont even know the divorce is coming is above and beyond shallow. he has no inner class whatsoever. i feel for him and im a guy ! . no matter who is at fault, both should try to leave the marriage with as much class and integrity as possible and especially when children are involved. and it shows the class of the other woman too..which is zero. why would she entertain the thought of being with his kids so publicly...ughh

This unhealthy behavior on his behalf will traumatize the children in some way or another.  Unless they understand what is going on exactly, they will grow up to think this is "normal" and perhaps repeat this lifestyle when they become adults with their partners.  He should know better than to involve his children in his affair.  I have to give you a goodie bag full of my advice - Kick him to the curb, have him pay child support, spousal support, and to really teach him one good one - have him pay for therapy for you and the kids. He'll learn.  And if he doesn't get it then, on his wedding day, pay a pregnant woman a few $ to walk into the church and yell "I object" at that appropriate time, lol.
Madeline

The main problem is you are divorcing and he is still living there. So he has to pay, that is a fact of divorce. As long as he lives there, the kids will be confused, you will live in some fantasy that your marriage continues and he is unable to move with his life. Its a huge issue for everyone. Honey, kick him out and start healing so you can move on with your life. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get on with things and find your true happiness.
Ask yourself why you are letting this drag out.

Gosh the things people due to their kids.  Of course he should wait.   What is the big hurry anyway?

I'm sorry you have to endure all of this pain.

What a rat's ass.  Yes, of course he should wait until he is out of the house.  He should wait until the divorce is final.  Kids are not stupid, they know something is wrong.  And it's probably upsetting to them. 

hey should wait till he is out of the house.. its not fair to you or the  kids.. i am sure the kids know something is wrong. why is this lady here and not mommy.. kids are not stupid.. he is wrong for what he is doing and i would get intouch with your attorney and get it in writing that he cant do this..