Has anyone had this type of moment?

Thanks everyone.  Paula, you are totally right.  KV, I agree that the bomb s also dropped on the other person who asked for the divorce.  I would not of wanted to go through what my ex went through.  She moved 3 times in about 8 months and started a new job.  She spent thousands and thousands of dollars to do this.  She is happy now and remarried.  TIC, I hope to find someone else as you have.  I have not been successful yet, but I will be.

It's tough.  Hard to shake the feelings.  It will pass.  There is hope- I was lucky enough to meet a beautiful, young woman who made me wonder why I ever married my ex in the first place.  Get off your butt and live!  When your kids are there live for your kids.  When they're not there, go back to your life with friends, family, and things you want to do.  Try not to dwell on bad feelings and what ifs.  Hurt that big never goes away without a scar, so I feel ya.  But it fades.

 

Best of luck-

When you have children, there's not a moment that goes by when the divorce isn't a reality.  The other day I saw a divorced couple exchange their daughter outside of a mall parking lot and I thought, "Divorce changes things."  It does.  There's no denying it.  In my case, I was the one who wanted out and, although you may feel like your ex dropped a bomb on you, believe me when I say this, no matter who says "I want a divorce", it's a bomb for both people.  Both people look at the one relationship they thought would last forever and ask, "Why?"  
The clear point is that you are now feeling the desire to moe forward, to create a life you'll love to look at.  Celebrate that!  
You deserve to live life full throttle and now that you feel that inkling, all you have to do is trust it and keep moving.  Thoughts of the past will linger but as long as you keep your focus on what you DO want, you'll get more of that.  
I wish you all the best:)

i think the fact that you are now feeling like it's time to start living is the sign that you will indeed start living.

all of us deal with our divorces differently.  and for good reasons.   some of us heal even before the divorce process begins....some of us need many, many years to heal.

every relationship, every marriage, every divorce and every recovery from divorce is different.

you can't judge anyone elses time to recovery....and you shouldn't judge your own.

facts are....you're starting to feel ready to move on now. three years later.  is that good? bad? indifferent?

doesn't matter.  all that matters is that you are ready now.  will you still feel pain on occasion? yes.  will it get easier with more time? yes.

That's a great way to put it BEHaws.  The past never goes away.  It just should not be the focus.

I've been keeping busy and living but there are always quiet moments in every day in which the past springs up to haunt me. A ghost that will always be there no matter how happy my life may be.