Enough With The Nice Talk!

On Mother's Day I bought myself a beautiful gift that upon reflection turned out to be not a Mother's Day gift at all, but my way of congratulating myself for making it through a year of divorce. I bought a custom-made phallus carved of tulipwood. It is enormous, solid, beautiful, perfect. All systems go, for Year Two.

Tulipwood is considered a very powerful feminine energy, and I chose it because I like the twist, or balance, of a hard masculine made of feminine element. Whatever comes next in relationship must have similar balance; I will not repeat the hell of the imbalance shown in my first marriage. Not emotionally; not sexually.

So it takes a number of weeks for these things to be made: wood selected, carved, polished, refined. I am still waiting for it to arrive in the post but also am otherwise occupied much of the time and have some great patience about it.

And I didn't think it was something to tell anyone about, except sex-positive friends who light up in cheerful envy at some of my choices. But you asked, HIC, and that stunning phallus is part of my answer:

It could give some great satisfaction to crack open his skull with it, one direct strike, not just to stun but to eradicate entirely, and then to sally away with it off to my peaceful bed and get busy with my bad passionate self.

Since my stbx and I are getting divorced due to domestic violence...

I would like his new life to fall so flat and him to be such a failure that he gets angry and comes after me to attack me, but by this time I am a black belt in martial arts and I totally kick his ass :) This way he knows what it feels like to be powerless and controlled. And by a woman at that...

kinda like J-Lo in that movie Enough...

would be sweet revenge

I actually did 1 mean thing when this whole ordeal started. I had all my belonging moved back to the state I lived in before we were married and where I went back to when he decided he didn't love me anymore, wanted a divorce, and blamed me for all his problems.( did I mention we were only together as husband and wife for 6 months prior?).
Anyways, I found all kinds of his crap in my stuff, a couple of shirts, 2 of his pdas, all his family pictures, our wedding candle ( ??) and other stuff that were out and displayed in our home from our wedding. Also, he took his sons pictures out of the wall frame and then sent them with my stuff (????). Anyways, I came across this rubber tubing guys use to help them stay hard.  Well, I boxed that right up and put a little note in the box that said " I figured you probably need this, no one I know does". Sent it off in a plain paper wrappings, and had him have to sign for it, so I'd be sure he got it.....

paybacks can be hell

To reap what he has sown......but have it take effect today!

A life without friends, without family, without someone who will be there for him no matter what, and to never know his children.

This is what he is sowing!

I would like for her to go to a party and be sitting next to a therapist that tries to get to know her and have him tell her all the things she is afraid she will hear about herself and not like. OR

I would like her to go to a party, meet some guy and after talking to her have him say, why would I want to date you? You're shallow, self centered and selfish. Why would someone want someone like you?

Nooo, Paula, you and I wouldn't be the other party, it would be someone as horrible as our spouses. It's what they deserve!

i totally second bluebird.  life role reversal would be perfect.  only problem....if i had to live my life...would i have to his?  cuz...i don't want to be a constantly unemployed, loser, dead beat.

I'd like for him to live my life from the time I met him until now, a simple role reversal. That's enough punishment for anyone.

I would love for my ex's new husband to sit her down and say, "I'm not happy.  I'm not going to change.  You're not going to change.  I want a divorce."  Then I hope she begs to try therapy, a separation, etc. and he simply says "NO."  Then I hope she reads his text messages and she finds out he has done this all to go and have an affair with an old college friend who is married with 4 kids!  Then, she will really know how I felt!

I would only want him, actually both of them, there are two, LOL, to go through what they put me through, exactly the same! Nothing more, just feel my pain, know what it's like! My 1st. divorce, I prayed for him to have this done to him, it would be the perfect revenge! Instead, he has had heart attacks, lost everything financially, and had to start all over a few times, good, but not the same...
I once posted a poem of revenge for my stbxh, basically the same thing to happen to him, only I added that he find his true love to have her be a lesbian (no offense to anyone) and run him over with his harley, laughing as she rode off leaving him on the side of the road! Sweet revenge indeed! Now if only it would really happen this way!  ; )

Rozzy, you scare me....lol...I love it....

Milly - you shocked me...lol. I loved it....

Bassett- yes my ex needs mental help too..so I might include this one not sure if BEFORE or after I apply Rozzy's ideas....

 

Kitty - you NEVER let me down.  I love it...

Delia - I love it....

 

Mine would be a terrible illness. He is the wimp of wimps.  A  bad case of Moctezuma's revenge for a week or so followed by the nasty case of herpes and to end it all a painful heartattack......... :-)

"I love you, but damn you have some issues."

Also...

"You're a gorgeous woman, but you look pretty frumpy when you wear victimhood."

Soooo I posed this question in e-mail to a few of my more favorite and humorous clients and here are the responses I got....

I'd like her to get hit in the head & suffer from complete amnesia so that I can woo her again, marry her, then set in motion the plan to do everything she did to me only threefold worse.

Lorena Bobbit took my idea....

I'd feed her her cat for dinner....and tell her later.

I'd cut his break line and watch the news for the car that careened off of Mulholland with a glass of wine in my hand.

I'd fill her car with frogs...she's deathly afraid of them...

and my personal favorite....

I'd like to see him hog tied and have all the short n curlies on his cojones plucked one by one by a farrsighted astigmatismed elderly woman in the advanced stages of parkinsons....

Lol sjg. At least maybe with the pieces "gibbeted" all around it may work as a deterrent and this site would hardly have reason to exist...?

Oh I just remembered one "fantasy"....(morals, ethics aside of course)

Get a pot of boiling hot oil and throw it on his face since he's so vain!  I bet he'd be a more humble human being then.

Herelgo, now that is justice is it not? Much better than anything I was able to think up....

HereIgo..I love the thought of new home~new wife~wonderful children  but if she cheats on him will that affect my alimony? ;)

I was just going to post the same thing about Rozzy move real slow don't upset her hahahahah (((((((hugs)))))))) Rozzy

I may have to come back to this because right now I don't care if he is happy, sad, mad, glad. But I did work through some real rage issue and got in a few blows of my own.

LOL, HereIgo. I'm tired of being so angry, I think you're safe. All that though and he thought he deserved worse. I'm not sure worse exists unless it is along the lines of your idea. That would definitely be justice served on a silver platter.

I'm kinda thinkin' don't get Rozzy mad.  If you do, don't fall asleep....

Dragged on a hurdle (a wooden frame) to the place of execution. This is one possible meaning of drawn.[3] The more likely meaning of Drawn is the act of disembowelment.[4]

Hanged by the neck for a short time or until almost dead (hanged).

Disembowelled and emasculated and the genitalia and entrails burned before the condemned's eyes (this is another meaning of drawn—see the reference to the Oxford English Dictionary below).[5]

The body divided into four parts, then beheaded (quartered).

Typically, the resulting five parts (i.e. the four quarters of the body and the head) were gibbeted (put on public display) in different parts of the city, town, or, in famous cases, in the country, to deter would-be traitors who had not seen the execution.

THAT is drawn and quartered...

HereIGo - That, is the best one so far.  Step up to the plate boys!

I think I'd like for him to feel the pain that his son and I have felt during all of this.  Then, I'd really like to see his pain when I drive off in that pretty red Mustang I paid for......

A scorching case of herpes wouldn't hurt either.

I'd like stbx to have a beautiful home, two great kids, and a handsome new husband who she loves with all her heart.....

Who cheats on her.

I rather fancy the old native methods....*the mind wanders as eyes glaze over....*

Staked out in the burning hot sun, in the desert of course, over a pit of pissed off, starving rattlesnakes, with a thousand papercuts over his flesh, and salt dusted into them, with a slim tree branch leading directly up out of the pit.....between his crotch.

yep, that should justtttttttttt about do it.

I'm with Iam- I'd like to see him truly survive without help from Mommy and Daddy.  See what it is like to TRULY be on your own. 

I'm getting better about wanting to see him keel over- but I still liike the thought of that.  He's going to cause himself a heart attack or stroke with the way he carries stress and anger.