Enough With The Nice Talk!

Since it hasn't happened I wouldn't know, but reading the hurt, I guess I'd do what everybody tries to do - leave the least hurt while protecting my assets.  I guess that means fighting hard and winning so I can be in a position to be kind.  I hope if I'm desperately poor, as long as no physical acts are coming my way, I can be a good person, not even the tiniest hurtful phrases.  < I pray I'd be that way.  Get gone.  Leave a memory of what I was really like during hard times.  It's so tough...  We were close to divorce, too.  Lawyer was already paid.  But I stayed and I'm very glad that I did.  I won't always be young.  She keeps me young (now) with her love.  I believe I do the same for her.  We're growing young together.

I meant to add "lol" winks, and all that.  That was a dark post!  I don't want anyone taking it seriously.  It seemed allowed since I saw Rozzy's burning of ex's testicles was rated well, it's funny I'm guessing.  They must have been married a long time...  
It's always funny if you look at it not seriously, right?
Today's the day I snap out of my deep loneliness and smile.  Let me know if it's not allowed, please.

Rozzy, Delia and Spaz have given me ideas I had not considered before.  I was just thinking, "Let it all go," is how I really feel. 

Now I think vibrating sander over her each breast for a minute or two, and a wire brush where something else used to go. 

That almost does it. 

She reminded me how often she was attractive, so leave the face alone.  Other than that, good health in order clearly feel what being without feels like.

It's not that I really want to "do" anything to him, I just want him to be more miserable with her than he was with me.  I want HER to leave him for someone "better", like he did to me.  Then I will turn around and smile and be happy with my new life while is drowning in despair.

O this one is so easy to answer. I would love to bring them home with me. I have a special room designed just for them, lol.

After a long separation and having had the time to accept the situation, I wish her nothing but the best in life.  For my daughter's sake, I hope she and the OM provide a good stable environment and that he cares about my daughter.  It has taken time to get here, but it is the only inevitable answer for any of us.  We just want a great life for our kids.  An unhappy parent is not good for the development of a little person.  I know that my daughter sees this in me and can see she appreciates that I never put her in the middle with any guilty feelings.  That makes our relationship so much better.  Good luck to everyone to get to a point where you can accept that you care about your ex (you spent a major part of your life with them, afterall, and likely had a lot of memorable experiences).  People and times change.  It is just life.  It is way too short to sit around depressing everyone around you.  Let it go!

well karma has a way of giving you back what you dished out but in tripcates so I just go about my day with out  thinking what I want to do to her. Life is to short to worry about the past like that. The most important thing  here  if you think about what you want them to do to them your living in the past still. you know when you have moved on when you can look at them and it does not matter because they have stopped being important in your life. If you still think of the things you want to do then you have still given them control over you. If a person makes you mad they control the way you think.

Don't wish harm, absolutely not, but hoping that he'll drift aimlessly for a bit as he did before we met and I helped him through college, maybe worry the parents to where they'll reconsider bankrolling his life/enabling the drift.

Things have always been easy for him and the only want he's known is when he chooses to play at frugality because it's fashionable. Now he's finally feeling the sting of what frugality really feels like to most of the rest of us, when it's not just a choice but a necessity. I like that a lot, he was always really egotistical about the sacrifices he thought he was making.

It'd be nice if his little relationship with the OW gets a bit funky and needy, too, he hates problems.

I also wouldn't mind if more people in the world wouldn't be so two-faced in their "beliefs"...spouting off about family values and morality on one hand, but still being supportive of him despite the fact that everyone knows he had an affair, and is still seeing her.

That makes me sick, actually, the same people who don't support homosexual marriage do support the actions of an adulterer...'cause he's a friend, right...?

That's what bothers me most, actually. The way we pick and choose when it comes to the "sanctity of marriage." Who qualifies, and who doesn't. And---especially---why.

What I want is already happening.  He said that he and the OW have so much in common.  They do.  They are both selfish, self-centered, insecure people that deserve each other.  My children don't want to be around him when she is there and she is around ALL the time.  Therefore, he is destroying his relationship with them.  Like Retter's ex, he has gained weight and is looking really OLD.  He hasn't been healthy since he moved out in January, while I am in counseling, have lost 40 pounds and am getting better every day!  I hope they live miserably ever after!

I wish for him nothing more than what he did to me.  Every time I have to see him, the 20 lbs I lost he has gained + more.   I look 10 years younger, he looks 20 years older.  He married her, short, fat, an not to bright, he's allready cheating on her.   They are living with his mother, can no longer afforded their little love nest.   It hurts the life style when you're paying almost two thousand in support & alimony a month.  He no longer has  my income to impress her with.  Ha!Ha!  But I get part of his.  An the best part is I'm no longer putting up with his SHIT!!!  Not to mention the look on his face when he decided to just drop by with no notice, and the boyfriend answered the door!  It was priceless!!! Oh well, what goes around, comes around sooner or later!

Honestly? Not a thing. Our problems were his mental illness- and his mother. No hurts ever caused by him were intentional- and although I was extremely hurt when all of this was happening. I want no harm to come to him. I still care about him and wish him only the best with his new wife.
We were just never going to make it with the situation as it was.
And that really is honest!

You the biggest walking, breathing, bullshit talking, cliche I have ever met in my life. 

Then as he was digesting that and trying to come up with something snarky I'd say:

Don't bother.  I know you and your new girlfriend are broke, living on food stamps, and you're living in an efficiency apt. sleeping on cushions you've taken from her sofa.  I know you got fired. I know she got fired. I know the cops are looking for you because you haven't paid your child support.  I know you can't pay me what you owe me.  I know your precious car got repo'd and your over $40,000 in debt with nothing to your name but the clothes on your back and said sofa cushions.  And I know your country club, president of the ladies golf league mother is oh so proud of her son.  So please, save it. 

Aimless...brilliant!

God...what a weiner you are.

I have given this much thought and....nothing. I want nothing bad to happen to her. I desire her no harm. I don't hate or dislike her. I am only sad that she's made this choice.

I thought about this one long and hard...and honestly, what I am about to write is probably the most vile thing I can think of...even though, no, it's not what I really want to do...because I just want it over...

I want to stay married and tell him that, no, he doesn't have to work on his anger anymore, that he doesn't have to change...and then go screw someone else every single time he tells me to 'grow up. quit taking it so personally. I didn't say you are a b*tch, I said you are acting like one." and so many of his other cruel lines...and every single time he calles our kids 'sh*ts' and shoves their faces into walls when putting them in a time out, or screaming at them and punishing them for talking too loudly when he's watching tv...and every time he swore he was soooo sorry for getting so angry and promising to learn to have more patience and control his anger...to then so sweetly look at him and say, "this is who I am, deal with it. stop taking it so personally. grow up." and tell him that he CAN'T divorce me because we took vows and that if he didn't like it he was more than welcome to leave, but to remember that he was abandoning his kids, and that really, I could do worse to him if I really wanted, and I wouldn't do it if he didn't 'make' me so angry enough to do it...

THAT would be the best revenge...in my sick and darkest fantasies of my brain...but thank goodness, that really is the darkest part that never sees the light of day.

The only other revenge that I would want is for him to be involved in another relationship where the woman doesn't stick around nearly as long as I have and is stronger than I was/am to leave...

And hopefully, that would wake him up enough to know that while I did a vile thing to him, I didn't do it repeatedly and still stayed and tried so hard to give him what he needed, including support and help for his anger problem...and maybe, he would finally actually *do* something about his anger, not just *try*.

I have a video of him singing he loves me. I want to post it on You Tube and tag it with his name and title it "hilarious". I want to release mice and bugs in the house just before I have to move out. I want to recover and thrive while he steadily realizes his alcoholism, infidelity, stupidity and compulsive spending is catching up with him. I want the IRS to put him in prison.

Well I'm not a revengful person. I don't wish him any harm. He has hooked up with a mentaly controlling wacko who is sucking the life out of him, his punishment has begung by his own choosing. He will never satisfy her greed. He deserves to be with a loser. He gave up being loved by a faithful wife of many years and we know God don't like Ugly. He has severed his family ties for her and will die a lonely old man without a penny in his pocket. I just have to set back and watch with a smile on my face and say you've done this to yourself buddie!

(Okay...I only hit submit once...that was a computer glitch, haha!)

I HOPE HE EATS SHIT AND DIES.

I HOPE HE EATS SHIT AND DIES.  AND

I HOPE HE EATS SHIT AND DIES.

It's interesting that around half of us just want our exs to go through the exact same thing they put us through. Me too.

I want my STBX to stay madly in love and obsessed with his mistress for the rest of his life. I want her to become his second wife. Then after they are married have her realize "holy shit. I left my first husband for this?" and leave him for another man.

Her leaving him is the only way he'll feel my pain.

He impressed her during the affair with a BMW and a very nice townhouse with everything you could want in it. What she didn't realize that it was all financed and we were in $150,000 unsecured debt. As a result of his wanting a divorce we've lost everything or are losing everything. BMW is gone. House is in foreclosure. He just had a baby with the mistress and has been living off the mistress, his mother and me for the past year. He is financially irresponsible and has no comprehension that there is a difference between wanting and needing something. He will always be broke. When she eventually realizes she'll leave. I just hope they get married before that so it will cost them both a lot of money to get married and divorced.

"All you need is love" is not true. Love can be destroyed by debt and trying to survive in this world. That is what I want to happen to them.

I would like to see him realize before he dies that he messed up the life he always wanted when he walked out on our son and me. I would like him to apologize. Not the empty word apology, but one from deep down in his soul. I want to believe he can be the person I always thought he was. I want him to see me again as the woman he fell in love with and realize that he'll never have that again. (this won't happen because he's a narcissist)

True story:

When I left my first husband (who is color blind), I mixed up all his dress socks by color.  He had something like two dozen assorted pairs, many with the same basic pattern, but in different colors.  Took his mother three months to figure out why his socks never matched, LOL!!

I don't have revenge fantasies for the current STBX.  I just want him to find a new girlfriend who will listen to his whinning & complaining so he doesn't keep calling ME for support.  GEEZ.  I just started going out on dates, and I can't tell him that.  He goes out, but I can't tell him I do until he's in a relationship, or he will make my life miserable.  We have a child together so I do have to see him and be in touch, and I choose to be kind and civil. 

I'd like to get him a paid companion who would spoon feed him life.  That seems to be what he wants.  I'm not that person.  That isn't revenge, though. 

I guess if I was going to vengeful, I'd take out a billboard describing his physical attributes and sexual proclivities.  THAT could be fun!

Amy

Hmmm..... I'd like to my wife's boyfriend walk out on her like he will sometime. I'd like to see her case of hpv keep on cropping up for a while as she is terrified about it turning into cancer. I'd like to see her boyfriend finallly go to jail for violating his probation for the umpteenth time. I'd like to see her go through so much hell that the arrogant I'll do what I want to do attitude is gone away. I'd like for my wife to see me on a date with someone else and realize what she had wasn't so bad after all. :D   If it causes her stress and worry let it happen. I'd like to hear her cry and beg for mercy when I get through this divorce. I like to hear her cry and beg my oldest son to say one word to her as she acts like she doesn't care. I am terrible for feeling like this but it is downright hateful what she did to me and our son.