I'm screwed!

Hey, I'll take it.  Can't hurt me to ask.  I never heard of those forms. 

Thanks Rozzy!

I don't know much about law, but I think there is some form so that you're money doesn't go to his back child support or back taxes that he owes separately or from a prior spouse. I think it's called Injured Spouse Claim or something like that. Sometimes there is an Innocent Spouse Relief form too depending on your state or circumstance.

Again, I don't really know much about this stuff, I just thought I'd throw it out there. Sorry if it's useless info.

You're brilliant!  Thanks, I'll notate that too.

Well remember, you also have fraud on him lying about his financial status - back owed taxes & child support. If an attorney thinks they can build an annulment case they can find out that information for you.

Spaz - I failed to mention one big thing in regards to annulment/fraud....

He told me the reason he lied and said he was married only once is because his 2nd "wife" was legally married at the time they wed so the marriage wasn't legit.

Is there any way I could verify if he was legally married?

ooo oooo oooo - may (BIG may) have found you a legal loophole here....

SC has laws on annulment to wit you can dissolve a marriage (as if it never existed) based on fraud. Now I don't know what the specifics are, and if you have to file as soon as you find out or what...that you are going to have to talk to a local attorney about - BUT - make an appointment for a consultation with a different attorney than you met with already, and go in under the option of looking to annul your marriage rather than divorce...see where that gets you...

can't promise anything - but it's something to look into. Could solve a lot of your problems if you can....

Oh I absolutely blame myself for my (dis)position.  I shouldn't have married 6-wks knowing a person.  He showed absolutely no signs of jealousy prior to marriage.  Only on the 7th day after the wedding did it creep out.  He really wasn't "broken", he had a good job, (didn't have a home because always on the job all over the world)  and again, I didn't know him well enough to realize he wasn't truthful about child support, back taxes, etc.

Now he did misrepresent himself in my opinion.  I rationalized any red flags because "he travels all over and just wants someone there with him", that's why he has no friends, that's why he hasn't dated in 2 years, that's why he's been divorced, etc.etc.

I'm not in any big rush for the marriage to be dissolved (I have no plans/desire of meeting, dating, etc.)  I just don't want to be liable to pay 10's of 1,000's of dollars in taxes, but I'm contacting state of incorporation to have my name removed, etc.

I guess I was just floored that state of mental well-being is not a factor for divorce.  I thought since S.C. was a "no fault" state that "irreconcilable differences" could be used.

Again, I absolutely accept the bed that I made.  BUT I think he should have been honest from the git go as I was.

thing is tho lip, you CAN divorce your husband, no one says you can't - it just isn't timely enough for you...so it isn't a matter of "can't"...in all honesty, hearing a bit more about your situation and how messy it is - no matter what your divorce will not be quick and clean, and all the prep work you will have to do is going to take the year (at least) of separation to wade through it all.

Get separation papers drawn up, let him know you are serious that you plan on ending the marriage, you can't worry about if you will have to take work off for a court date or a lawyer's meeting - life is life. You need an income.

Ok, here is a reality check, fine be mad at him BUT there were a whole bunch of red flags flying all over prior to you saying I DO - but you did anyway...you met a broken man, and probably thought with your love (and credit) he could be different - that things could work...if he was jealous in the marriage, he was jealous before...if he was bad with money before the marriage, he will continue to be....etc & so on - a lot of the burden of the situation you now find yourself in is self inflicted by marrying somone you admit you didn't know all that well...rash choices come with consequenses - welcome to yours.

 

When you open a bank account, it is your responsibility to know what the policies are - and that includes in the event of closing the account - a little knowledge is a powerful thing, unfortunately your husband, in this case, found out or knew more than you did.

 

He knows you want the divorce and he is now positioning himself....you need to as well.

(Natalie)  I understand that you are completely oblivious to my situation but let me clear one thing up with you. 

I bought the house before I met my husband.  I was paying the mortgage myself.  My father paid off my house for me (to save on interest) and I was paying him off.  When my husband refused me to work, he started paying the mortgage.  (So tell me where I'm at fault/lazy there??)

As far as authority, you really have a misconception of me.  I am a forthright person.  I was expressing my opinion.  And in my opinion I found it ludicrous that in this state, a spouse can mentally torture you, break things, etc....but you can't divorce him...unless he beats you up physically.  It's only my opinion. 

Obviously you've never been psychologically abused or you may have a better understanding of where I'm coming from.  I think if your mental well-being is at stake, you should be able to get a divorce from the a-hole that's causing it.

If it wasn't for MY credit, he damn sure wouldn't have a bank account or credit card.  His checks were sent to his mother prior to us marrying.  So I believe I have a right to be pissed at him.  And again, I find it insane that a person can mail off a form to have a person removed (that account was opened due to my credit rating, his is shit) whereas if you walk in a bank, both parties must be present.  If you don't see anything wrong with that, then maybe it's just you.

 

Seems simple enough for you?

(Natalie)  I do have loads of contacts.  In Hollywood, CA. 
I used to work in the television industry and I moved out here to S.C. 

I also just got back to the states 4 wks ago after being out of the country for 3-4 mos.  And when I got back to U.S. I had to fly into Louisiana to have my friend drive me to Ark to get my car to drive myself back to S.C. 

So in all actuality, I've been "home" for a little less than 2 wks.  I've been getting titles, tags, lawyers, going to docs, vets, banks, getting reorg'd, etc. etc. etc.

I am a very productive person, please don't misjudge me for being one of those lazy people that rationalize why they can't work.   And yes, I did make good money.  That's part of the reason why I'm pissed off in this divorce (him not "allowing" me to work).

Going out on a limb now: There's this "I've been screwed by authority" thread that runs through a lot of what you write.

The laws won't let you divorce. Your husband won't let you divorce him. The bank won't take his name off the credit card...

You know now what you need to do, it may not seem right but those are the laws as now written. So, if you want to divorce, get a job and get under a roof of your own. He'll get the message and perhaps the dissolution of the business will soon follow.

Seems simple enough to me.

If you've really made more money than all the men you've been with, you've probably got loads of contacts---so do lunch with them and get a new job!

Either that or you're choosing guys who aren't very productive.

I don't buy your reasoning about work, sorry...I landed my current job right after my breakup, and have kept it without taking a single full day off for anything divorce related.

Stable finances grease the skids of the divorce process.

The sooner you're on your own, the better.

(Spaz)  The only thing stopping me from getting a job is I wanted to get the company/divorce stuff settled so I wouldn't be asking for time off at a new job. 

If I don't get myself out of the company, I will be liable for taxes, even if I don't see a penny of the income.  Once the lawyer heard my story (married in NV, live in SC, company out of TX, his stuff in AR, him out of country) she said I had a big mess in front of me and to put the divorce aside and get my name off the company first and foremost.

Oh, I just came from the bank (BofA) where my card had been deactivated.  They said all he had to do was call in a form, and send in a new one with only him as a signer.  If he had WALKED in, then I would have had to been present, regardless of the fact that I am co-owner of the LLC.  I find that insane!

To put a stab deeper in my back, I called MY (Wells Fg) bank that I've had 15yrs prior to knowing him to have him taken off and they said no way without his approval!

P.S. I was being facetious when I said about cheating...I promise you I do have moral values.  And the "stick w/...money" was just more of an inquiry for thoughts.  I have and will never stay with a man for money.  I've always made more $ than all the men I've been with.

Thanks again for your time and thoughts.

I could not live with myself if I committed adultery.  Separate and get the process started ASAP.  It will be easier and less painful in the long run.

what is up with the divorce laws in this country?  am i alone in thinking it's time to do something about them?  i know we have bigger fish to fry, etc.....but really...every state is different....some states seem to have insane and harsh rules...while other states appear to offer drive in divorces.

and please...don't get me started on child support and custody laws......

ugh!

You were, just the other day, contemplating staying with him for the money...

Nothing is stopping you from getting your own job and no longer dealing with the company the two of you set up. If you keep threatening to serve him with papers (separation, divorce, what have you) you can easily keep him away...he's already been gone for a while, that time counts. When you find out he's coming into town - make yourself scarce - don't see him don't talk to him, don't sleep under the same roof with him....

DON'T cheat on him, he will be entitled to more if you do -