Getting prepared for court. Can I use the "testimonies" of others?

Thanks for all the responses! I like getting everyone's feedback and grounded answers. It makes me go back through and see if there is something that I haven't tried or thought of yet. When I first found out how old this girl was that he had been seeing, I went to the cell phone company and tried to get the records. The account is in my mom's name and we were told we would have to get a subpoena. Well, as most of you know, in order to get a subpoena, there has to be an open case or lawsuit. Now, starting July 6 when the divorce is filed, there will be a case but the text messages will be long gone. The cell phone company says the text messages only stay on their servers for about 2 months max. I wish we had had Verizon. As I understand it, you can always see the incoming calls and request the incoming and outgoing text messaging info. That may not mean that you will have the content, but it tells you when the texts came in/out and from whom. My mom wasn't even allowed to get the records of incoming calls for her own phone or mine, let alone my husband's even though she owns the account that supplied all 3 lines. Everywhere I've turned there's been a wall up that I cannot get around. So, like I said, keep the advice coming! Take care and bless you all!

Yeah, it's not what you know, it's what you can prove.  Hearsay statements from a third or fourth party is tough to investigate, especially if the victim is very reluctant to come forward with a statement.  The only other way around a direct statement from the victim is if you have very specific knowledge of dates, times, and witnesses.  Without those, it's very hard to get a criminal case put together.  Most prosecutors weigh the odds of going into court with what they have, because they have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the crime occurred.  Detectives know that too, and if they know they can't get the evidence, all they can do is leave the case open and hope the victim comes around before the statute of limitations on the crime expires.

The good news about civil court is that the proof doesn't need to be "beyond a reasonable doubt," but is based on "the preponderance of the evidence."  But you still need evidence...dates, times, credible witnesses.  If you had the texts in hand, and knew EXACTLY what was texted, you might have been able to introduce them into evidence.  I don't know if your attorney can subpoena the text records from the phone company, but if you had the texts PLUS the testimony of the girls, then you might have something.  But, like Spaz said, with minors, the parents have to be willing to let them testify and then there's the concern that his attorney will try to shred their credibility on cross examination, not to mention if they are mature enough to handle the embarrassment of it all.  There's a lot of "what ifs." 

Now, interestingly enough, if any of the girls "sexted" him...that is, sent him nude pics of themselves under 18, then it would be possible to indict him on the possession of child pornography charges, but again, I don't know if that would come up in a subpoena of the texts.  After all, I don't think you can just subpoena people's phone and text records for the helluvit...you need to have cause.  Ask your attny.

Ah, good question Spaz. I went to the Sheriff's Department last year and spoke with a detective there. She said if I would find out some things about the situation she would go to the girl's high school and talk to her about it. The only problem is, I don't personally know this girl and what I am hearing is hearsay from a fourth party basically. I can't seem to get closer to the situation than that. He used to meet her at our mutual friends house and they told another friend of mine they were pretty certain STBX and girl had sex. Yeah, and as you can imagine we aren't mutually friends anymore! So it would be hard to confront them about this. Any suggestions on how I could do this without tipping off or scaring this girl would be great. I don't think she thinks them having sex is a big deal or she might protect him if she has no incentive to give him up. It's just hard to get close enough to get factual answers. So like I said, if anyone has any insight or strategies, I would definitely be willing to try them. It stinks knowing he raped this 15 year old girl through no doubt consentual sex and I can't prove it.

if you know he had sex with a 15 year old girl and actually can prove it to the point you can use it against him in divorce court - why haven't you taken your proof to the police for them to investigate child molestation charges?

Even the texts might be construed as indecency to a minor - depends on the DA....

There is just one girl that I know  that would come to court for sure and her mother would let her. She's 17 now. She had told our youth pastor what was going on when STBX got her number to keep her informed about youth events and instead started sending her these nasty text messages. Yeah, I know creepy. That started in late 2007. The girl wanted youth pastor to talk to STBX and get him to stop but begged him not to tell me and he didn't. She told me this in February of this year.

Also, I think his attorney would be shocked and appalled if my attorney ever mentioned any of these things, including the girl 15 year old girl that he had sex with before he left. I feel sure he "forgot" to mention thes things and the real reason he left for that matter. He proababaly summed it up to "it just wasn't working out!" My attorney is friendly with his attorney and there wasn't even a slight note that his attorney knows much truth about any of this. I don' t know what my attorney really has in mind. He has a good poker face and doesn't get too excited. Which is good, I admire and need his stability. That all may change when we actually file the divorce suit. I think he will turn more agressive then.

Whoa, listen to me...I think I am just going on to hear myself type! Thanks to all who have responded and will respond still.

If you go in there and say, "this one said this or this one said that, the court will only take it as heresay evidence and probably not allow it unless you have that person there with you who he actually said it to, to verify. 

I wondered about how seriously they would be taken. Especially giving a statement against him after this long. My emotions have been running high and I need to know what will win and what won't cut it. Thanks Spaz for your answer!

The court isn't really going to take the testimony of children against your husband seriously. His attorney could very easily rip them to shreds on the stand. Doubtful it would even be allowed without their parent's permission anyway and I don't see any parent allowing their child to be used in that way....

and no, he really hasn't committed any crime per se just talking to the girls.

Use the evidence you have.

I agree. I have a strong inclination that he indeed did have sex with the girl in my previous blog who turned 16 after he left me. But I am trying to find the best way to approach it so that it doesn't scare off this girl. The other girls he hasn't actually messed with...just the text messages and maybe in-person comments. I know that bad enough. But will the law think so in a civil case? Would they even care in criminal one? Unfortunately talking nasty crap to young girls isn't a crime unless the little girls or their parents say so. Or is it?

If he is messing around with 14, 15, 16 year olds then he needs to be charged with a criminal offense.

 

I would definately have these people be a witness for you.