MOVING OUT OF THE STATE

I'm wondering what has happened in your situation? You sould like me. Frustrated that the ex was able to abandon his wife and child(ren), but we have our hands tied behind our backs when it comes to wanting/needing to relocate in order to financially support ourselves and our children because the ex decided not to any more.

I am so frustrated with the law being that the father "has rights" to see the children without contributing financially.

I have a HUGE job offer across the US. Excellent company, big promotion from my last job, executive management position running my own department, corner office, relocation assistance, and the list goes on. I've been unemployed for almost a year and the only jobs I can seem to get interviews for are entry level jobs. The competition for Sr. management jobs is fierce! If I don't get a GOOD paying job soon I will have run out of money and won't be able to afford rent or to support myself and my son (of whom I have full physical custody, shared legal).

Even if I got a job in MD the best I could afford is a condo in a low income part of town. If I can relocate I could afford a single family home in a gated community with a pool, etc. The cost of living difference between the two cities is huge.

I know the odds are against me, but for my future and my son's, I'm going to do everything I possibly can to fight and win the right to move.

My STBX will never agree. He was perfectly happy to see me and my son lose our home so that he could end up with a few dollars in his pocket. He's a narcissist. I'll still sit down and ask him. I would think out of jealousy alone he'd say no. I may try bribing him with passes to the Playboy Mansion parties. LOL. Whatever it takes to get this opportunity for my son and me.

I understand doing what is right for the children. But the courts make it absolutley impossible for the parents to move on, and better there life. With all these rules I feel like I should have just stayed married to my abusive husband!

I understand doing what is right for the children. But the courts make it absolutley impossible for the parents to move on, and better there life. With all these rules I feel like I should have just stayed married to my abusive husband!

My papers say nothing about me not being able to move out of the state.....I just find it very hard to believe with all the divorces that go on today and people trying to start over that you can do that?  the law is screwy if you ask me....and to think i actually wanted to go to school for it.....or maybe i could and just fight for women who are really suffering and need relief and a fresh new start.....I am sorry but ALOT of children out there are the best things that came out of the fathers....and some do not deserve what little time they get.....I am a cold hearted bitch sometimes, esp. when it comes to my situation....if it were up to me....I would leave the country for a overseas tour with my new husband just to get the hell away!  Gosh, that felt good....lol

Your spouse can request a compassionate assignment (or reassignment) if he gets orders to PCS to another state based on the fact that you are legally required to stay in that state per your divorce decree. It won't stop him from being deployed overseas but it can be useful to keep him stationed where you are living now.

There are no guarantees, but it doesn't hurt to try.

Only Georgia has laws on the books giving children the legal right of choice at the age of 14....everywhere else it is age of majority, 18.

You could try to get psychologists, GAL's evals etc done if you are hell bent on it - but just be advised that gets expensive and there are NO guarantees any of the professionals will side with you.

and what age is that?  when does a child have a voice?

sure go ahead and e-mail me - but just bear in mind - once there is a divorce - that means the past has been resolved - you can't bring all that mess up anymore - it got you the custody it got you....it's a whole new ball game now. Divorce day, is day 1.

I know - but your kids come before you in the eyes of the court, and in the court's views, they have the right to be close to both parents....you might have primary custody, but that doesn't mean he is any less of a parent than you are. You have to base your plans on the best interest of the children first, until they are of age to fend for themselves.

But the court is NEVER sympathatic to the woman and children who were DUMPED off on the side of the road basically.....made to move out of the house.....paid no child support for 1 yr. over a 10 month freaking marriage?  hmmmm, very hard to believe in my case....plus much more that I would be to embarrased to post on here....I need serious legal advice...can I private message you SPAZ...I know you cant represent me online like this but maybe you could direct me in the right direction.

Hard to believe!

pretty much - that is usually when the other parent can wind up with custody. The court isn't sypathetic to the fact you married someone and didn't think about how it could affect your kids later.

what if my new spouse is military?  are you saying that my new husband's job in the military would not make a difference?

the standard is that you give 30 days notice of intent to move, in writing, sent by a verifiable delivery method. That would give him time to contest it....so I guess, get used to where you are....

 

A judge will give pause to hear about a job opportunity for you if you can prove where you are moving is better than where you are currently, that it will greatly improve the children's quality of life/lifestyle and that you are willing to fork over ample visitation & pay substantial costs - but a spouse unrelated to the children's job opportunity - a much harder sell & 7 times out of 10, lost.

I would NEVER give my children up for anything!  My papers do not say that I can not move.....he would fight me...and will over everything till she is 18.

Bear in mind, no matter what your papers say about move aways, he has the right to take it to court to keep you where you are, or that you have to give him custody, and you can move where ever you please.

How visitation is set and who pays for what depends on what you can agree to - generally the moving parent pays the bulk of travel - and the children spend most holidays and an extended summer with the non-custodial parent.

every state is different i think with this issue. i know in my state, you need approval from the other parent to move.

check your divorce decree, there may be a clause in there about if you need approval.

you can go infront of a judge and ask about moving as well...if your ex says no.

but typically, you would have to find a way to make sure the other parent sees the children for equitable amoutn of time....this can happen in the summer for instance....or long weekends, etc. 

you may have to pay for flights, etc.