Cheating wife won't leave me alone

Moving forward is hard to do, especially when you still have feelings for them and they keep sending mixed signals like she is.  My stbx offered me false hope when she shouldn't have...maybe she didn't want to hurt me, but she wanted a divorce and wanted out...I was going to be hurt no matter what.  All she did was delay the inevitable because I still loved her and wanted her back and was willing to say and do anything to get her back.  Instead, I was stuck in limbo while she tried to figure things out.  Sounds like you're in much the same place, and I'm sorry.

The first thing you need to do is come to terms with it being over.  She won't leave the OM, but she doesn't want to leave you.  She wants her cake and eat it too...you are still her security blanket in case things go wrong.  She has to make a choice.  I know what you would prefer that choice to be, but if she still refuses to leave the OM, then you can't be her security blanket anymore and as much as it hurts in letting her go, you have to do that.  You have to be strong and sever the ties with her emotionally and accept that the woman you married is gone and so is your relationship with her.  Once you accept it, you can move on, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.  If you're still holding a candle for her, you won't be able to do that, and as long as she dangles false hope in front of your nose like the proverbial carrot, she'll just delay your healing.

I'm sorry you're going through all this.  I wish you the best of luck in getting past it.  I know it hurts now, but once you accept the death of your marriage, then you can begin to heal...just understand that it's a process and that it won't happen overnight...be patient with yourself and things will get better with time.

to me, it sounds like she wants the old boyfriend, but until she gets him where she wants him, she is using you to satisfy her needs. Don't let yourself be used by her, no matter how much you love her. She needs to be coming to you for support because she wants to be with you, not just to stroke her ego. I know how you feel and I am sorry you are having to go through all this. I hope things get better for you soon.

Get away from her.  You will get to the point where you cannot conceptualize life WITH her.

The confusion is probably your ego feels better when she wants you back, after what she DID to your ego by leaving.  Getting your heart broken just once is better than having it run through a grinder for years.

Been there, done that for my kids.  Good luck to you.

I think I can relate to this in a way. My ex was having an affair and when i confronted her, she denied it at first, but finally told me the truth. She said she wanted me, but continued the affair. after she got the divorce papers, she claimed I set her up and didn't try to give her time to end it properly. Teh thing is though, now, she is married to a completely different guy, doing the same thing to him and still wants to know if I want her back. melanie said it best, move forward. The only thing hanging on will do is create misery and  heartache. Just my opinion.

Move on.  You don't deserve to  be treated like that, no one does.  She wants her cake and eat it too.  I'm sorry to say.  People are going to get tired of me suggesting this but check out the website for DivorceCare and see if it is available in your area.  We are also here for you as well.  You need to put one foot in front of the other and get on with your life and your little one's.  You will be tied to this woman for the rest of your life because you have a child together.  Stand your ground and don't let her take advantage of you.  Good luck and we are here for you.  Melaine