love or respect for the homewrecker

OKAY...Here I go.....
A HOMEWRECKING WHORE is just that a WHORE, nothing more, nothing less.  I have no compassion for a SLUT who decides it is a good idea to sleep with another woman's husband REGARDLESS of the circumstances!!!  Married is Married...Divorced is Divorced...that is why we have Lawyers and Courts.  In my personal situation, I called that WHORE, along with 5 OTHER WOMEN he met on a CHRISTIAN dating website (YEP, he lied on the christian website...what a guy), I told all of them our situation, and asked them to back off and leave my family alone. 5 of these women clearly stated that he told them a completely different story and that he had been divorced for 3 years, bla bla bla..she was the only one who refused, and said he loved her (yeah, you and 5 other girls)  even though she told me she was also working things out with her husband, and still sleeping with him AND my EX...and she felt that my EX was just using her to make me jealous.  ONLY a STUPID HOMWRECKING WHORE would stay in that situation AND move into another woman's home.

Missy369,

I can totally relate. My stbx has been having an affair for two years.  It took a while for the anger to come and when it did, all of it was directed at her. Before this happened to me, I couldn't understand why women got mad at the other woman, it was the man who'd betrayed them. Then I found myself angry at her.  I figured out why I was so mad at her: that it was safer to be mad at her than to be angry with him. I think her behavior is disgusting and I'm still angry at her, but I wasn't married to her-she didn't betray me the way my husband did.

I know my stbx. Eventually the way they started will drive him nuts.

Missy369,

I can totally relate. My stbx has been having an affair for two years.  It took a while for the anger to come and when it did, all of it was directed at her. Before this happened to me, I couldn't understand why women got mad at the other woman, it was the man who'd betrayed them. Then I found myself angry at her.  I figured out why I was so mad at her: that it was safer to be mad at her than to be angry with him. I think her behavior is disgusting and I'm still angry at her, but I wasn't married to her-she didn't betray me the way my husband did.

I know my stbx. Eventually the way they started will drive him nuts.

I remember putting the blame on the OW and asking how he could respect and love her as they carried on while he was married! Well I asked her, flat out, how can you live with yourself knowing he was married and doing this to me? She apologized, said she feels sorry for me, as I had not accepted the fact we were getting a divorce and he had moved on! HA! I didn't know anything about getting a divorce or moving on, LMAO! He lied to her and she believed him, dumb ass! So blaming the OW may feel right, but fact is, she only knows what he tells her and generally it's lies!
She didn't force him to cheat on you, it was his choice and only his! Just because a woman flirts, seduces, does not mean she controls his actions, it was his responsibility to let it be known he was not available! Therer will always be opportunities for men/women to cheat, it is up to them to have the morals and respect to not do so...

Hi Missy,

Timless makes an excellent point.  It's a fairy tale.  You can't write their happily-dever-after, but you can work on writing yours.  and you and your child are the ones you need to focus on now.

Missy, the anger will come. Trust me. When it does, let it enlighten you to what you do deserve in love, to where he failed or did not and could not and cannot match you, and let it empower you to make the decisions you need to make.

Even when we're taking the highest high road, that anger still comes, and when it does it's like volcanic eruption. You have permission to be righteously pissed about what has been done to you and to your marriage. Just be sure the anger flows in the right direction. It's not her. (((HUGS)))

Amen Paula

felix, yes I know I should be putting more blame on him. I am very hurt by him but I don't know why I'm not ANGRY. I know that he could have (and should have) said no and he didn't but I also know that he wouldn't have pursued a relationship unless she put herself out as 'game' for it. Yes, I am very sure he painted me out to be horrible *he has told me some of the things that were so bad* but I would still have no trust or respect for a person who was ok with the fact that I was married.
I'm just hoping that she doesn't get the happiness I thought I had.

Your husband has chosen a woman he cares for and is probably revealing himself to be a very loving and warm man who she can trust, respect and honor.

Who knows what she has been told about you and your marriage.   Chances are good that he has painted an ugly picture of a living hell and she feel very sorry for him to have had to put up with you.      You see he is going to make sure she only sees a loving, honorable man what is her knight in shining armour who escaped the ugly witch.

Only time will tell if this fairy tale will last.   But that is between them not you.    So don't spend time trying to read into their relationship.   You have no idea what he has told her.

Your husband was looking after his needs only.  You don't really understand unless you think like a cheater.

It's all about them - and nobody else. 

That's how it works.  I'm sorry for your loss.

Missy, I understand what you are saying, but it seems like you are wanting to find fault with the OW when really no one could ever force your husband to make the choice he has made. Put some of that blame or judgment on him, where it belongs, and you'll feel a little better. (((HUGS)))

My whole life, I've always kind of wondered at a plot line of a movie or tv show where the OW falls for the line, "I'm getting a divorce baby, then we can be together forever." Then the person is shocked...SHOCKED mind you, that they got cheated on!  Never understood the mentality.

If it were me, one I wouldn't enter into a relationship with a married woman, but if I had a brain anyurism or something that paralyzed my morals, and I did enter into a relationship with a married woman?  No way in HELL I would trust her not to do it to me later.

'cheaters' and 'respect' are two words that do not go together.