What would you have done?

My oldest graduated college yesterday.   It was a very proud moment with the potential to be very ugly.  

It was out of state, and there was to be a post-graduation party at stbxmil's house.  She never invited me, but stbx said I was welcome.  Given the christmas card that stbxmil sent (mean and ugly), and stbxbil giving my stbx divorce advice - I wasn't thrilled by the invitation.  

 After a LOT of thought, I decided to fly in the night before graduation, and to fly out right after.   I think I made the right decision.   I was able to take both of my sons to a great breakfast and visit, tour the campus, and see my son graduate.  That part was nice.  

What was uncomfortable for me, was having 2 sets of divorced, remarried stbx-inlaws and spouses, along with laywer stbxbil and sil all come greet me.  

It started with stbx coming up to me, giving me a hug, and whispering in my ear "So, how are you doing?".   I looked her in the eye, and said "I'm doing great!, if I was doing any better, I'd be suspicious."  

She walked away pretty quick.  Priceless.  

This was followed by a procession of hugs from the very people who - since I filed -  had said nothing to me.   I hugged each of them, looked them in the eye, and told them it was good to see them.  

Stbxbil pulled me aside, to make small talk.  I looked him in the eye and told him I couldn't go though it again.  I told him that stbx's second affair had gone on two years.   I explained that I was being hammered on by stbx until I produced some documentation and pictures of her with OM - and that was when I filed.  

He looked stunned. 

The look was priceless.  Obviously while he was giving her free legal advice, he didn't know my side of the story.  If I know anything, I know he'll never repeat what I told him.  Call it selfish, or whatever you want, it was important to me that he knew I had been betrayed, then betrayed again.   

He never would have known.  

He used to talk to me about his divorce cases. It actually gave me a lot of perspective into how a divorce attorney views a case.  I would neverreally say much.  I didn't like the subject, but he'd relish in how he was going to kick ass. 

I only told him that in my opinion, divorce seemed pretty harsh on dads who were cheated on and had small children.   I hope he remembers those conversations.  My sons are now grown. 

I did everything I could to protect them.  

We proceeded to take pictures, then head to the commencement.   My younger son walked with me, while all the stbx's followed behind.   We arrived at a bottleneck entering the stadium, and stbx and stbxsil grew impatient.   They cut to the front of the line, ahead of my son and I and explained they were getting seats.  So as they got in and arranged for where everyone would sit (trying to control the situation) my son and I went elsewhere to sit.  

I felt free.   

Stbx had a habit of telling me how fast to drive, where to park, and where to sit at events.  

 There are no repercussions.  I don't have to listen anymore.  I will not follow.  

It was an awesome commencement.  15 minutes after my son recieved his diploma, I left the stadium. 

My younger son walked me to my rental car and he told me how great he thought I handled the situation.  

I got choked up, told him I loved him, and headed for the airport.  

 At the airport I recieved as text from stbx telling me we needed to sign my graduated son's pink slip to his car while were were there (Son's college is out of state).  

The good news is, I took care of that back in 2005 when I took him out to college.  Non-issue.  

So I stepped on the plane and managed to escape without any drama.  I learned today that there was no graduation party, just family sitting around doing nothing. 

Talk about dodging a bullet.Mission accomplished.  Thank God. 

I don't think I could have handled this much better.  Have you had to deal with a situation like this since your filing?  How did it work out?

Hang in there!  It's a bumpy road...