What would you do about this?

I wanted to get your opinion on how best to handle this situation. My Ex and I were divorced in Oct 08. He was awarded primary care of the twins since they had been living with him since I was forced out due to a violent outburst and subsequent RO. Our son who is almost 11 was with his dad this weekend and took the handsaw he got for Christmas from his dad and scratched all over the hood of his pickup. Dad has given him the normal punishment of taking away the computer and video games. My son doesn't even get upset about this because it happens frequently and dad always gives in a couple days later. His dad called me to find out how much he has in his savings acct because he wants him to pay for the damage. He has about $200 but I'm torn about making him pay his dad. I think he should have to work it off since the savings has come from birthdays and christmas and he doesn't even really realize he has it. Our son has ADD and needs more attention and supervision than a normal 11 yr old boy. He was left outside unsupervised when this all happened.

What are your thoughts??

by flowergirl 70 Posts
Posted on 4/20/2009 10:57 AM

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Tags: children , add , parenting

Answers for "What would you do about this?" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

My god this boys needs you two and he is acting out

Sometimes being dependent on a therapist is not always the best

You are his mother and trust that-He is father and trust that

No matter what you do have done to parent him doesnt change that

There is going to be very little change until there is consistancy
in his life

Encourage the good things motivate him to seek your approval
as parental figures and be aware that he could be seeking peers
as parents

by shelbee 40 Posts
Posted on 4/29/2009 7:04 PM

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He is in therapy since about the end of November. He started stealing and even made a comment that he wanted to kill his teacher. Things are better with the stealing and we have had no problems since the meeting at the school with my son in regards to the teacher. My son thinks because people have to speak a little louder to get his attention that they are yelling at him. I wanted to get both of the kids into thearpy long before the divorce was final and we were just seperated. He said they were handling things just fine and then within 3 weeks after the divorce was final our son started acting up. Ex has always buried his head in the sand about any kind of help. But after the incident earlier this year, he has realized our son needs help so he does go every week. My son shows some signs of emotional intensity as I do so I have been trying to teach him things to do so the anger and intensity don't reach a 5. They have greatly helped me and rarely do I reach that level anymore.

by flowergirl 70 Posts
Posted on 4/20/2009 1:03 PM

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this is a difficult one...but is it possible your son is upset about the divorce and custody arrangements? have you two considered taking him to therapy so he can someone to talk to about all that is going on around him?

by paula1 12662 Posts
Posted on 4/20/2009 12:07 PM

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