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  Posted to group - Laughing Today    <<Previous    Next>>

The financial crisis explained in simple terms

The financial crisis explained in simple terms Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. The bank pays a HIGHLY respected rating agencies to tell the investors that the ABSs (Alcohol-Backed-Securities) were the highest quality. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items. One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar. However they cannot pay back the debts. Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %. The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties. The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers. Finally an explanation I understand...

by vlady   2123 Posts 
Posted on 4/15/2009 9:24 AM
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Answers for "The financial crisis explained in simple terms"  (8) (You must be logged in to answer)




Laughing! Sad, but this IS what happened! They forgot this part: not only did they bail out the bank, they're encouraging the drinkers to go back to the bar for more (homebuyer's incentives, low mortgage rates, etc.) in support of the bubble prices.
by bluebird   1157 Posts
Posted on 4/16/2009 10:02 AM
0





what a pisser,

ya that about some it up.

by freeme   434 Posts
Posted on 4/16/2009 5:53 AM
0





Now really ROTFLMAO... it was supposed to be AA as in Alcoholics Annon., not triple A with their road maps...lol... where is the delete button when you need it...lol...
by gemi   1064 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 5:05 PM
0





*scratching head* Uh? I got lost after a young and dynamic customer service consultant. Never could figure any of this stuff out. That's why I have pro's taking care of my 401K investments...hmmm...and considering what my 401k is worth...not much of a pro.
by BEHaws   657 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 3:36 PM
0





ROTFLMAF... with tears streaming from my eyes... ahhh... that's how AAA got a boost in membership...
by gemi   1064 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 3:27 PM
0





I hate to admit but in a nutshell that is what happened. I loved it and had to share...lol
by vlady   2123 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 1:08 PM
0





Now it all makes perfect sense.  Thanks for clearing things up.
by Jamesalone   2778 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 12:39 PM
0





this is very good :) really  i like it
by aceanita12   282 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 9:41 AM
0







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