Is Marriage Dead?

I don't think its dead but I don't think the importance of marriage is the same.    It seems like marriage is something a lot of people rush towards as a "highlight" (kind of like an awards ceremony where there is a ring/award, a gown, red carpet and after-party) and not a life long committment.     The weight of the committment has deminished and no one thinks twice about leaving when times are tough.

I think the divorce rate is indicative of a larger problem with America...a symptom of the actual disease.  I think the problem with this culture today is that it has no patience.  It's as if society collectively has ADD and a fast food mentality.  I want gratification, and I want it now!

Progress can be an amazing thing, but sometimes it goes too fast...faster than we can keep up with, sometimes.  In addition to instant gratification, we have coddled our youth and taught them the wrong lessons.  We have gone from simply reinforcing self-esteem in our youth to flat out convincing them that they are ENTITLED to be winners.  We do them a disservice by this.  Graduations for going from one grade to the next?  Monumentalizing the trivial?  Eliminating the concepts of winning and losing?  We have allowed uber liberal concepts in child rearing to completely overcompensate some of the more conservative concepts in child rearing. 

IMHO, if we follow this path of the so called "child behavior experts," we are on the road to creating a whole generation of self-absorbed, narcissistic, elitist people who will have a divorce rate even higer than in previous generations.  Why?  There is no paitence to work anything out...we've taught them that they are special and that's okay...it CAN be all about you.  Teamwork means nothing because we're "all winners" for just putting forth the effort.  It's okay to lose.  You didn't lose the race, you just came in 10th out of 10th...you're still a winner!

So, what will happen when you stick two narcissistic people together in a marriage where neither will back down or compromise?  I think it will result in higher divorce rate.  I don't think that marriage is dead, per se...but it certainly is on life support.

I dont think marriage is dead, I think the committment to marriage is dead.  Society has made it okay to get a divorce.  It is no longer frowned upon to walk away from a marriage.  If it gets to hard or boring go ahead leave....dont try to work at it.   Morals have also just gone right out the window.  The idea of if you dont like your spouse or if you need a spouse then go ahead and take someone elses seems to be rampant.

Going back I think after world war II more people moved away from the farms and their families into the cities.

As each new improvement came into our lives we didn't have to work so hard and sometimes those improvements are used for wrong reasons.

There were no cell phones, beepers or internet. All those things make the opportunity to cheat easier and somehow it has become more open and acceptable. Pornography is becoming a major problem when men become addicted to it and shut out their familes.

Deborah made some good points too. There has always been cheating but not so open. People cheated without the expectation of getting a divorce because they knew marriage was forever. I'm an example of that hidden cheating. I'm not sure who my father is and have no way of finding out. All I have is a picture of a man in uniform found behind my graduation picture.

But even I don't think marriage is dead. I hope not.

I don't think that marriage is dead, but I do think that many people get married often too quickly, finding out later, that they didn't marry who they thought they did. I also believe that since those 2 generations ago, people have become more open morally and have let alot of things slack off. There is so many bad things shown on tv and movies which many people seem to think is okay as well.  I think several generations ago, there was divorce and cheating going on but more of it was behind closed doors and not so "out there publicly" so everyone can see it, plus, more people meant what they said and their words stood for something. I  just think that today people are more open morally and alot of things just happen that we don't care about like our ancestors did....that's just my opinion.

I don't thing marriage is dead. I think people in general have lost the full understanding of what marriage is and is not. As a result, some get married under false expectations and end up leaving the marriage when their expectations fail to happen.

I think that society in general has changed so much that it's almost impossible to understand what marriage is and our true role in it as well as making divorce to easily done as a solution to marriage.

hi tim,

well, what i think happed is that some people took the vows in a relax ways of thinking -

now days most people are just not willing to commit to their promises and just don't want to comprimase

but i could be wrong :)