When to end a marriage?

I'll try to be as brief as I can be. I have been married for almost 10 yrs. Have 3 great kids. But .. I feel very confused on whether I want this marriage to work or not. He doesn't treat me well, and I am no angel either ... but I know my flaws and he just doesn't seem to see his. We fight almost everyday whether it be over the phone or in person. He works in another state close by and so is hardly ever home - when he does come home - I dread it, which I know is not healthy. We are physical with each other but it starts out playful and gets to become real. He has control of the money, I don't work - something that gets thrown in my face many times when I try to tell him that he spends his money unwisely. (He works, it's his money - he'll do as he pleases) I live nowhere near my friends or family - something I know I need in my life. The other night he told me that I am driving him to having an affair - to be in the arms of another woman. What does that mean?? He says he's never cheated but how can I know, he's in another state. I have already found a profile on an adult dating site and confronted him about it. It was out of curiosity - that's what he said. I just don't know what to do anymore. One foot is out the door and the other one seems stuck. If anyone can help me - give me advice, I would be grateful. I think that I am wearing down my friends and I don't want to be a complainer if it seems as though I am not going to change. Thanks

by bubbly 5 Posts
Posted on 3/31/2009 1:04 PM

Get Alerts!

send to friend

Send to a friend

When to end a marriage? on divorce360.com

E-mail: Separate multiple addresses with commas(,)

From (Your name) :

Your e-mail address:

0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Tags:

Answers for "When to end a marriage?" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Another option I can see is get a job and become independant of him. Then if you want to leave you have some solid foundation to stand on.

Is there a waythat the 2 of you could take a weekend away and have some fun? I sometimes wonder if that would help some couples reconnect.

by Heartbrokepicker 418 Posts
Posted on 4/3/2009 2:30 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

if money were not an issue, (meaning, if you had more than enough money to live and care for your childen) what would you do?

your answer should be revealing.

by paula1 12664 Posts
Posted on 3/31/2009 4:10 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Bubbly, based on what I am hearing, I think in a sense your brain is telling you to get out. The signs are there... they HAVE been there for some time. But just as for many of us, the pain of going through the divorce/separation and all of the abundant changes and turmoil it brings can "lock you up" and cause you to do nothing.

You basically have two choices. One is to wait until things get so bad that you basically "blow up" and the break-up becomes sudden, toxic and bitter. The other is to tell him and confront things head on, NOW. If he's willing to change some of his behaviors, and if you're willing to give that a try, fine. Get some marital counseling for the two of you. If not, then you can begin to transition out of the marriage and hopefully it will now be at a point where you can call it quits without "spiraling downward" to become more bitter and depressed.

Wishing you the best :)

by justokguy 163 Posts
Posted on 3/31/2009 1:46 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.