Explaining the Alcoholic's behaviors to young children without interjecting personal feelings

My ex-husband is an alcoholic and has not contacted my 5 and 6 year old boys in 30 days. He did not arrange to see them on Christmas or even call. The boys ask me why and I don't know if I should tell them he is sick and explain a little or just continue tosay I don't know...that I told daddy they were trying to contact him and I don't know where he is or what he is doing.

by jenny1129 3 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2008 9:18 PM

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Tags: alcohol , kids questions

Answers for "Explaining the Alcoholic's behaviors to young children without interjecting personal feelings" (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

He has not pursued rehab. I know he lives with his sister, but she has proven to not be very helpful unless there is benefit to her. He comes and goes from there with no consequence over his condition. Therefore she has taken over my role as enabler. I know he still drinks and has not held a job since he quit 2 and a half years ago. I left him when he refused to get help thinking that would be rock bottom, but I was sadly mistaken.

by jenny1129 3 Posts
Posted on 1/10/2008 9:00 PM

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I'd say the fundamental thing to reinforce is that they are loved deeply. Because of the age the definition of the problem should be limited but to let them know he loves them because they are wonderful beautiful strong children. They will know who he is in there own time.

by Elisabeth 31 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2008 11:25 PM

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You have no idea where he is? This has to be hard on you and the kids. I would slowly start being honest with the kids so they do not think he does not love them. I would seek professional advice in tellling your kids

by Bea4 406 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2008 10:58 PM

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Do you think he is safe? In rehab? I think 30 days is a long time for the kids not to have a "real" answer. I would seek counseling with help on dealing with an alcoholic spouse to help you cope and communicate this to your kids. I would not tell them everything but that daddy is sick and needs some time away to feel better....

by Barkley 912 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2008 9:25 PM

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Explaining the Alcoholic's behaviors to young children without interjecting personal feelings

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Explaining the Alcoholic's behaviors to young children without interjecting personal feelings

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