What would you do if the woman made more than the man in a relationship?

We just may have a First Matey in the White House. In this dayand age, is there still a sticking point when the wife is more successful thanthe husband? We've seen Academy Award-winning actresses losing their men afterwinning the little golden one. How is Bill going to deal with Hill being thebig chief? University professors, marriage counselors who arepsychologists/psychiatrists/M.D.s -- I need good studies or long-termexperience to back up statements about the pitfalls of a wife's super success.Have the times been a-changing? And how to make the marriage work? Also, if youare a woman who is success-driven, what kind of men should you look for? 

Well, the primary purpose of the psychology industry issupposed to be to help individuals within a marriage learn how to have abalanced ego.  Unfortunately, because ofFreud’s biology conclusion this message is lost.  And a woman who is more successful than herhusband is a perfect example, given the financial pressures on marriagetoday.  Because of the lack of focus onbalancing the ego the industry has also not embraced another concept, and thatis happiness is not possible if the individuals define themselves by what Icall the 2 false Gods, looks and money.  

If you define yourself based on your looks or level of income, then you will not be able to find happiness within your marriage.  What this means with our question above is that you cannot define yourself based on your job, whether a man or awoman.  If a woman is using her status with her job to gain power in the relationship then the relationship cannot be balanced.  And if the man is intimidated by his wife’s success then he cannot find balance in the relationship.  In fact, this brings up one of the more humorous points with marriages, the situation where the woman does make more money than the man, and the man is intimidated.  

Are you kidding me!!!  I would be doing high-fives all the way to the bank if my wife made more money than me.  I just do not understand men who are intimidated by a successful wife.  There is not balance in that situation.

Here is the way I answer the situation in the book:

Thebest way to look at the interaction of the partnership is that both people inthe partnership have exactly fifty percent of the say in the decision makingprocess.  No one person can tell theother person what the solution to the problem will be.  Both perspectives must be taken intoconsideration.  If you are not able tosee the perspective of your partner then you cannot understand the other sideof the discussion.  

The rightrelationship is a fifty-fifty partnership between two people where the outcomeof the discussion is what would be best for both people on an equal basis.  If you want ten dollars and the best solutionfor both of you is for you to have nine dollars then you get the nine dollars,and you understand why!  The path tohappiness leads directly through the road of compromise. 

Nothis does not mean that you do half of the dishes and she does the other half,or you decide where to go to dinner on Tuesday evenings and he gets to decideon Thursday evenings, or that you both must make exactly fifty percent of theincome of the household.  Even moreimportantly, this does not mean that if you make eighty percent of the incomethen your partner must make up the deficit in another manner.  

Pessimists would argue that if you structurea relationship based on thinking then you take all of the emotion out of therelationship, you get bored.  Commonsense, though, would tell you the exact opposite.  If you have a relationship based only on lovethen the only emotion that is growing in your unconscious is the emotion oflove.  That other emotion, ofunhappiness, is not even present. Emotions are never stagnant.  Theyeither grow or they shrink.  

If everydayyour relationship involves only love then you only grow the emotion oflove.  Life is actually a lot offun.  Guess what, you become happy.  Granted life is tough because of this andbecause of that, but is it really that tough? Getting along with your partner is actually one of the best investmentsin life you can ever make.  It isactually free.  

You can only get therethough if you develop a relationship based on the psychological notion thatboth get to share equally in the thinking and the feelings that go intodeveloping the emotional bond called love.     

What would you do if the wife made more money than the man in your relationship?