Bipolar Wife had affair, then back then affair again and moved out

Hi everyone. I spent some time reading before I signed up for the boards here. It seems to be a good place to find out you are not alone in some of the feelings you are having.

I have a very difficult situation and want to say right off Im going to a counselor and doctor as the last few days have been terribly difficult.

My bipolar wife of 7 years (together for 10) had an affair with someone she met through a text message this past fall.

She at that time said "she didnt love me anymore". Well things crashed and burned then, she came home crying and I forgave her. I guess things like this bury the self-esteem so much its hard to refuse their re-entry into your life.

Well things had been good since then. She became involved in church, got rebaptised (which made her feel better I guess) and we were getting along fine. Just about a month and a half ago I had one of those nice times where we were both so tired we fell asleep on the couch together for hours. I felt so at peace knowing we were together, and things were good. After a few years of spotty income she finally landed a decent job and we had just gone out to celebrate.

 Then she started going out for errands and coming back a few hours later and just for the heck of it I checked the phone records for our cells and find out she had been talking to this guy again and acting funny.

I asked her about this and she said , once again, I dont love you any more and want to move out. She just did move out about a week ago and the whole thing hurts so much.

Because of her lack of income over the last few years I floated all the household bills and even paid for things the last time she had a change of heart. I cook, I clean, I have taken her family in when they needed help in the past.

I love her and finally realize I might have to get over her but I have been having a hard time concentrating on work these last few days. I dont know how to snap out of this, and I also worry that in a divorce, despite her wanting to be "independent" she will realize she need more money then she will get angry and want more from me. As you all know the economy is terrible and its hard enough for families to get by even working together let alone going through these kinds of problems. I also worry that ill work so hard to get over her and then she will turn around again as the last time things seemed hopeless as well.

I have read hundreds of posts on bi-polar relationships and many if not most sound the same. Anyone with any suggestions on how to cope with the sadness stage of losing someone in this situation? I am trying to talk to friends and family but dont want to burden them too much.

thanks for any help or insights. My thoughts are with everyone that posted that I read, that things get better for you.

M