How long to continue counseling?

Okay so I am trying to figure out timing issues.  March 15th is our 6th anniversary, March 20th is my birthday, March 21st I am hosting a baby shower at our house, April 11th is my nephews wedding, May 3rd is my sister's bachelorette party, and May 23rd is her wedding.  I have pretty much made up my mind because I don't want to continue pretending that I don't have feelings for someone else and I want us both to start moving on happily.  But, to what extent do I need to consider all of these things in my timing of when to tell him?

Hey sometimes you feel beat down and not motivated by a bad marriage, especially if someone shows you that you deserve better. It's overwhelming when you are unhappy and people you respect overlook your need for happiness in order to preserve everyone else's happiness. Marriage is supposed to be a sanctuary not a source of stress and  confusion. Chpmnk do your counseling and good luck. Your friends don't see your real life. For example, everyone thinks me and my wife are perfect. Huh, shit they don't even know the half.

I agree with others, if your not into making it work 100% let him go! No amount of counseling is going to help if you don't want it to work! You don't stay in a marriage for others, you do it because it's worth saving by both of you.

I already had been considering divorce or at the least separation for about a year now, but found myself feeling like it wouldn't make any difference I would never be happy again.  Now I feel comfortable with who I am as a person again and know that I can be happy with my children.  I want so badly to just be their mother and that means being the happy go-lucky person day in and day out.  Right now I am completely miserable at home and it has been that way for awhile I just tried to hide it.  I don't want my children and family to see me as a failure and as if I just gave up, but I have been fighting with him to stop the criticisms and ugliness towards me for a long time and he didn't.  Yes, is he now trying everything to correct it he certainly is, but I have been pushed away for so long and now can honestly see myself making a life with my kids more happy than with him.  I know that I will be giving up so much: family, financial security, the house, the friends, the life we had, sharing the children.  But, I don't think I can ever find those feelings for him again and I don't know if I want to keep fighting simply because I have been fighting to keep it together for a long time.

You now have feelings for someone else, ouch, that is going to get in the way of counseling. You can't give 100% to something or someone when you are not there 100%.

Sounds like you have already made up your mind. IMHO

You can't look for someone else to make up your mind or validate your feelings. This has to come from you.
Think long and hard. Divorce is ugly and painful.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're trying that hard. You say you're staying in counseling for everyone else but you. So, clearly, everyone else sees that your marriage stands a chance. But you don't. So it doesn't sound like your giving it a fair chance.

Paula is right. Oftentimes, we are so focused on getting out and freeing ourselves so we can have a happy and fulfilling life with someone else, that we don't realize what we're leaving behind. Until Plan B backfires. Then we start to regret our decision. And by then, it's too late.

I don't advocate divorce unless all options have been exhausted, or there is excessive cheating and/or abuse that a spouse refuses to get help for. But ultimately, it's up to you. You already have feelings for someone else; it's going to be really hard to convince yourself that you really should keep fighting for your marriage.

the ramifications of divorce are not something that should be taken lightly.  once you do it, you can't fix it.  (yes, people do get back together sometimes) but major damage has already occured.

is there some reason you don't think you should exhaust all possibilities?  this is the biggest decision you'll probably make in your life....causing perm changes to your entire famiies lives.  i think its worthy of 100% effort to be 100% sure.

Seriously, it takes 2 to want to be in a marriage.  If you don't want to be in it, then get out.  Why make face for the sake of others.  Have a little respect for him and either work on it or don't.  It will hurt either way.  Break it off with whomever you have developed feelings for or break it off with your husband.  Put yourself in his shoes.  How would you like to put your heart on the line to only find out he never wanted to be with you anyways.

I'm sorry, but you posted about this same thing a while ago.  Save your money, spare his feelings, figure out what you want and be honest.