Moving out of state and custody

So the story goes....I want to move 8 hours away to a nice town in North Carolina and restart my life. I already have things set up to go although I won't be leaving until my room mate gets home in June. I haven't told my ex husband yet because 1) I want to be 100% sure that this is going to happen (even though I am already at least 98% sure lol). 2) I don't want to give my ex husband a whole lot of time to fight with me about it. A little background is we have managed to maintain a civilized semi-friendship after our divorce.We do have joint custody, but I am listed as the primary parent. The visitation arrangement is an odd one though. When we were going through our divorce I let him talk me into an every other week arrangement. I have our son one full week and he has him one full week. So far this has not been a problem because we only live about 30 minutes away from each other and our son is not yet in school. Now according to the divorce papers he is supposed to pay 200 a month in child support, carry the health insurance and pay half of all other costs including medical and daycare. So far he is 1250.00 behind in support, I have been carrying the insurance for the last year, I have paid for every doctor's visit, prescription, and every second of child care. With all these facts presented what are my chances of being able to take my son to North Carolina with me? If he agrees to my proposed arrangement (time during school breaks and some weekends otherwise pretty much open visitation) what do we need to do? If he doesn't agree to it, what can I do?

by MyLifeIsMine 5 Posts
Posted on 2/16/2009 3:49 PM

Get Alerts!

send to friend

Send to a friend

Moving out of state and custody on divorce360.com

E-mail: Separate multiple addresses with commas(,)

From (Your name) :

Your e-mail address:

Kentucky legal questions on divorce360.com

0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Tags: moving , custody
See more posts in Kentucky

Answers for "Moving out of state and custody" (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

yeah I have talked to my lawyer this week finally. She told me the way our decree was written up and everything was set that all i had to do was get him to sign a statement saying that i could leave the state. As long as we signed it in front of her and she notarized it. Thanks for all the advice. I do plan on telling him about the move this weekend. As of this morning my plans to move have become 100%. I have an agreement drawn up for him to look at this weekend. Right now I am just hoping for the best. As for me letting the child support, the insurance, and all the other stuff go.....I have just been trying to be nice and I guess I have just let it go for too long. As for the insurance I just couldn't let my child go without it as accident prone as he can be and I couldn't get a medical card because I made too much money so I was just trying to do what was best. My fault though for not pushing him to do more and do it sooner.

by MyLifeIsMine 5 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2009 8:20 AM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

you need to work this out before you go -if it is going to happen or not - because he has the legal right to force you back home if you do not have an agreement in court before you leave. You are in a 50/50 custody arrangement - he has a lot of rights due to that. Regardless of what is or isn't written in your decree.

The fact he hasn't carried insurance doesn't matter - you by way of carying it - and not bringing him to court for contempt on failure to carry it himself - have agreed by action that his non support of the inusrance is acceptable to you - and as paual stated, child support and custody are two seperate issues.

Several months of notice is fine, but be aware, if things aren't worked out by the time you want to move, and you up and move anyway - you could be forced back.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 2/18/2009 8:57 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

I have thought about the impact of moving on my son, but overall I think it would be the best for us both. The schools there are a lot better and so are the jobs. Right now I am having to work 12 hours a day 7 days a week in a factory because it's pretty much the best (and only) job around here with decent money and insurance. Most of the time on the weeks he is supposed to have our son he ends up at his grandparents house. I have checked out the drive time and such and it should not be a problem to have him up here on a regular basis. As for my ex he has talked before about moving for a job and cutting his own visitation down to every other weekend or whenever he can get him. There really isn't any limitations in my divorce decree as to where i can go with my son, but I have been told that since we have joint custody that if I move out of state he can get me for kidnapping. I am not going to wait until the very last minute. Just closer to time. I will still talk to him at least 2 or 3 months ahead of time. I just didn't want to get everybody all worked up about it and then end up not moving.

by MyLifeIsMine 5 Posts
Posted on 2/16/2009 8:47 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

his failure to pay support does not impact child custody or visitation. the two are not tied in together. odd, i know.

anyway, you must talk to him now. if he refuses, and he can...you can't just move. if he has joint custody, he has to okay you moving out of state. my decree states i can't leave the county, no less, w/o approval.

now some state laws are more flexible about this, if there is job opportunity/family etc...involved with a move. but you still need his ok.

think of it in reverse, what would you say if he told you two days before he was moving and said he wanted to take your child?

you have to talk to him. i think working out summers/etc. is a good idea. but have you thought about this for your child? right now your son is with him a full week every other week? and his dad lives 30 minutes away? and you're talking about changing that to occassional visits?

by paula1 12662 Posts
Posted on 2/16/2009 3:57 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.