Now what?

eman falling apart is sometimes part of the process to getting a divorce and then healing. You will put yourself back together and in the process I think you will like who you become.

We each have to find our own happiness within ourselves. You just keep working out and improving your mind and body and staying active. You will heal and come out of this.

It is a process of three steps forward and 4 back and then forward again. Ups and downs, forward and back and gradually you will have good moments and then good days and good weeks. All this will happen on your time frame when you are ready and not before.
take care

Everyone who has been answering me thank you you all must be a lot stronger than me I am falling apart here.

I am so sorry for your pain.  But hatred is a normal part of the process we all go through when we are devastated by the one we love.  Just give time, time to heal your heart.  Take good care of yourself and your children.  Losing weight is a good thing, although I know from experience that I would rather lose it any other way. 
This is a very good place to vent.  So vent away!

This was not spouse to be my life. I was brought up to take care of my family my father did, his father did and so on. I did fall. And the hurt just hurts. I need to be here to get things in finical order. but how do I heal if I keep seeing her. No matter how much I hate her now she is gorgeous! She was my high school sweet heart. Now I have her birthday and that dam Valentine’s day and then would have been our anniversary how after 4 kids can you fall out of love no matter what. I didn’t cheat I didn’t hit her, I didn’t abuse her. I was there for her and I just worked.

 We will need to sell this place and she keeps talking about our next place. I could not do that. I love her but I hate her. I would never move back in and go through this all over again.

Wait in till my family finds out what a looser I will fell all over again. I wish this live never happened!

Not really I love my kids.

You know they are now set up to fall. I hate her I hate her I hate her.

Sometimes I wish I was a drinker or a cheater then this would be something you would except.

 

I am so dam hurt. I have no money to seek help so I am venting here I hope you don’t mind

One thing I am learning is to deeply look within.It all sucks big time but its something that will make you into a better person and you dont know whats around the corner do you.Allow yourself to be human and work through all your feelings one day at a time k.

You will have so many mixed emotions, and yes even the hatred. Try to let that one go, it hurts you and your children! You don't have to like them or what they have done, but hate is not good. You don't have to give the children any details, if they already know anyway, just don't go there! The weight loss is good for you, your healthy is what's important, keep doing things for you...  ; )

eman, you cant save something that is already lost. i know that first hand.. You have to be strong for you and your kids. Just be there for them 100 percent of the time. They will need you more than you think. Therapy will help all of you. You have taken a giant step towards a new beginning. Baby steps will follow. You need to take care of you too. I hope this helps  ((((HUGS))))

cherbear