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My battles, copes, and fears

I don't have to worry about my future ex-husband... I have to worry about my future ex-mom in law! He never took control of his own situtations before- so he's not going to start by dealing with this divorce. Our lawyers are trying to keep it civil- as well as I am, but when I read about the "sharred parenting plan" purposal... it looked like my ex-mother in law made all the decisions. How could I tell? Well, I never seen a more holiday horror plan in my life! Then, on top of it, I never drop my child at his fathers home because HE LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER! We're still pretty young- the guy dropped out of college- and he has one more year of working in the military. I guess he has a rough life right now- but who doesn't at this age! He only sees our child twice a year, but other than that- it's the mother in law that gets the visitation b/c the father can't be around. My child has so many changes happening to him- and these changes will never stop! My child is 3 yrs old and I can tell that his behavior has reached a spoiled and suffacating change whenever I drop him off to the mother in laws. My mother in law is very...shall we say- sensitive.

by Young_and_civil 4 Posts
Posted on 1/5/2008 9:55 PM

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Answers for "My battles, copes, and fears" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Sometime in life we have to make the best of a situation regardless of our personal beliefs on the"other" side. My ex does have first right if I'm not available, however if she leaves the children with anyone else she is in contempt of court which works to my advantage for the sake of the children. Ex-in-laws are a bother, but not one that I will lose any sleep over. Just remember to love your child[ren] and try to giver them the best positive outlook from your side of the fence. Just my opinion, not trying to offend anyone.

by rowdyone 27 Posts
Posted on 9/8/2008 8:19 AM

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My advice is to let your child be a part of his fathers family. If you don't, then it will emotionally affect him as years go by. I know, Ive been in a very similar situation, as my daughter was growing up. You have to put your son's feeling and emotional health before yourself. Sacricfice, and help make your son grow up emotionally well balanced. This is very good advice, I hope you will take it. Ive been there. Good luck, and try to be happy.

by pscott 6 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 9:33 AM

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I feel for you ladies. I can only imagine if I had children with my ex. It would be a horror. One benefit is that they are mentally unstable. The problem is that they have enough money to fight and I wouldn't stand a chance in that area.
I would try to limit the amount of time your child has with her. It may be as hollsqt said and that you can get a statement added that if your ex is not going to be the caretaker then there is no visitation. Your ex monster in law may sue for some type of visitation but maybe it can be limited.
Good Luck!

by mtnvly 2302 Posts
Posted on 3/20/2008 8:15 PM

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I feel for you! I have the same situation with my ex-mother in law. She LIVES with my ex-husband and is the only one that cares for our child, when he is there. My son acts like a spoiled (dare I say) brat, when he comes home from being in her care. I would make sure you have some sort of right of first refusal clause, in your final decree. What it states is that he CANNOT leave your child with anyone but you in the case that he can't care for him while he's in your ex's custody. That way, the ex-MONSTER in law, can't get her hands on the poor boy everytime his dad is unavailable during his visitation!

by hollsgt 19 Posts
Posted on 2/15/2008 11:20 AM

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wow. from my experience, it's good to have someone in his family wanting to see yoru child. maybe you can work with this?

by Vicki 854 Posts
Posted on 1/8/2008 3:10 PM

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My battles, copes, and fears

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