I'm at a settlement crossroads

Short background: STBX left me and our 8 month old son for his high school girlfriend. She got divorced and moved here and in with him and her 2 children. I found out that she is pregnant with my husband's baby. (talk about a knife to my gut now for the rest of my life. I'll never get over this.) I filed for divorce last July on grounds of adultery. He was indignant that I would do such a thing and counterfiled on grounds of mental cruelty and that I abandoned him and that the divorce was mutual (yes, all 3 reasons). So he's fighting me.

He's a lost cause, clearly. I've been working hard to get what I need to be able to have a life for myself and my son. We had a settlement hearing with a judge last week and both me and my attorney walked in with our arms full of folders and documentation. My STBX and his attorney had just their attaches. I think I caught every sneaky trick his attorney pulled. The judge was not happy with my STBX and I think she explained to him in private that he didn't have a case against me.

So where I am today is that I was told my STBX doesn't want any more settlement hearings and doesn't want to go to court. I received a very generous settlement offer and I'm replying with some additional requests of my own. Since it's a good offer to start he may not conceed on my additional requests, but they are things that are important to me and my son.

I believe that my STBX has finally realized that he is still married to me and having a baby with another woman making his child a bastard. I think now he realizes that his stupid, false accusations against me don't hold any water (and I have documentation to prove all his lies) so he doesn't really have anything to fight me with.

So I have the upper hand and hold most of the cards. Should I refuse to expedite the divorce unless he gives in on all my demands?

I've been told to get everything out of him and then go back and get the rest. He created this mess and I shouldn't have to pay any more than I already have and will for the rest of my life (I'll never trust anyone ever again).

There is a vengeful part of me that wants to still be married to him when the baby is born because he'll never be able to explain that away. But I don't want to delay the divorce for that reason because it makes me feel like that's the low road and I want to feel like I went through this process with my dignity.

So leveraging the unborn baby to get what I want/need for me and my son...is that ok? Is that the high road?

PS - I read some of the responses about not financially wiping my STBX out. I need to add that my STBX has no concept of money, budgeting, the idea of spending less than you make. He believes that everyone is in debt and that's the way you're supposed to live. He is the main reason why we are between $160k and $200k in debt (I stopped keeping track around $160k but I know it's got to be much more with all the attorney fees, late fees and finance charges). I have done everything I can think of to stop his spending and reduce our debt but he is out of control. I calculate that he already owes his mistress over $10k as he's borrowed money from her and hasn't paid her rent since he moved in last June. The mistress has paid for all of the hotel rooms and plane tickets and dates. Everyone in his family has given him money or let him live with them for free. He has a new iPod and spends his money on music, video games, clothes, etc while I got the forclosure notice on the house last week because he hasn't contributed to the mortgage since last summer.

I think I need to help financially wipe him out so that he can see that there is no bottomless pit of money. I am very good with money and see that I can actually have a financial future without him. Any money he gets out of the divorce will just be squandered.