Now what?

My husband and I were together for 7 years. We've been married for the last 2 and we have 2 little girls. I left him last week because of name calling. He told me I was a psycho, needed help, everyone knows I'm dumb, and told our toddler that "daddy doesn't want mommy here. mommy is leaving." I took the kids with me. It has been a rocky relationship since 2001. He cheated on me within the first year we were together. Last summer he was working 2 jobs and decided that he wanted to be with someone else. I found a note in his pocket stating, "I would love to be with you. I can't wait." I confronted him, but he couldn't give me a reason of why he thought about it, although he claims nothing ever happening. We had our first child and he was going to leave us. More than a year later, I still cannot forget that. I have forced myself to love him, but I can't do that anymore. I don't want to get a divorce, but it looks like the only option. Last night after confronting him about his check, he had $1,004 and I saw $150 of it. He claimed he was saving it and put some away for the girls. But that since I took the car (which my dad and I are on the car), he wasn't going to pay for it anymore. He then told me that he was going to claim abadonment because I left him. I'm sorry, but you wanted to leave me last year and I stayed. So am I wrong to have left? I'm confused and not sure what to do. My parents are pushing me to file for divorce, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. But last night, I thought I was. So, what should I do???