Mistress took husband...now trying to win over kids! What can I do??

I understand how you feel that the other woman just took over and is trying to now take your children too, however, I think that you should sit down with your ex and try and work out this calling thing. If she is allowed to call your kids on your time,  then you should be allowed to call them on his time.  Try and work something out with him.  Actually, like the others posting here, I know how hard it is but you need to try and get along with the OW as best you can ---but do it for your children. They do not understand and they should not have to suffer, even though they might not be old enough to understand, they CAN pick up on tension. Besides, you want the OW to take care of them and be nice to them while they are with them.

I'm in fear of my kids being around this "pal" my STBX has, who is an alcoholic, liar, thief, and a felon (was in trouble with the FBI for felony hacking).  You know what?  There's nothing I can do.  I can't control who she sees and lets around the children.  I can only hope and trust she is the protective mother she claims to be.

i understand what you are feeling.  this is difficult stuff.  but you need to break it down into pieces here.

1. you can (and should) go back to your lawyer/court to address the communication with your child issue.  he needs to let you speak to them at least once per day when he has them.  that's just ridiculous that he wants you to build a relationship with his g/f, but not allow you to keep your relationship with your own children. 

2. you need to understand that this woman is basically a care taker to your children now.  i know that you hate her probably, but the facts are that when your children are there, she will probably be the one who feeds them and makes sure they have clean sheets on their beds.  you need to foster that relationship if you can.  i agree she may be going overboard trying to build a relationship with your kids with all these texts/etc.....but think of this realistically, please.  what good will come if your kids hate her and fear her?  which is better here....that they like her or hate her?  and who is that better for exactly? you or them?  i KNOW how hard this is, but you have to think about what is best for them now.  i am so thankful that my loser ex has a g/f that actually takes care of my kids....he couldn't....wouldn't.  but she does.  if it helps you at all, think of this woman as paid help.  she's basically a babysitter now.  and all kids, everywhere, can use as many friendly people in their corner that they can get.

3. only the father has a right to get the kids on the phone when he is not with them.  you should both be doing that nightly.  he calls, you answer and hand the phone to the kids.  when he has them, you call, he answers and hands the phone to the kids.  that should happen now. 

Is there are reason your kids get so little time with their dad? 

He should not be restricting the girls calls to you - unless its bedtime or dinner or something. But why do you care if his GF calls them? Let her try to build a relationship with them. Its fine - unless she is trashing you which would be very wrong. But if she just wants to be friends with them I don't see anything wrong with that.

You're their mother and they love you. She can never replace you so don't worry.