Taking Things For GRANTED!

Thanks for your replies and the advice given. I swallowed my pride and sent my soon to be ex a heart felt email telling her how I felt about not getting to see my sons as much as I wanted and how it's effecting not only me but my side of the family because they are impacted as well, being their Aunts & Uncles. I am currently healing emotionally from getting some test results back regarding my throat and the possibilty of having throat cancer. I chewed for 18 years all of which before I met my wife but anyways it looks good and I can't tell you the uphoria, anxiety and other emotions you have going thru it. I didn't even tell her about this just do to the hatred I had towards her. However despite everything bottom line is I put down my guns, abuse, hatred and just told her, life is too short and we can't keep treating each other the way we were and I let everything go and just talked with her and the next thing, I got my Boy's for the last 2 nights and they were probably the best 2 nights I have had in several years. My Bros & Sis took pictures and I can't believe actually seeing a smile on my face and seeing the true love my boys have for me. Moral of the story, no matter what has happened or how you feel, life is too short to fight & argue besides the toll it takes on not just you but your family. When we faught and I bashed her (baby steps here) "friend" I wouldn't get to see my boys but when you just sit down and let it go, good things will happen, as much as I didn't want to do it, I had to and my weekend showed it!

Unfortunately for me, our marriage was the same way. However, we both worked.... ALL THE TIME. We rarely went out and sex, well I need to look it up in the dictionary. He told everyone how wonderful I was and led this life that we were a very happy couple. He didnot tell me how nice I looked and took me for granted for everything. He said he thought I had it under control. Everyone needs to keep each other in mind. Take each other out on a date becasue I too can attest to the fact it's the little things taht add up to big trouble over the years. Do not take each other for granted.

What you have written shows that you are man enough to admit what went wrong in your marriage, that happened to my marriage as well, he didnt spend time with me and the children, he was selfish, wouldnt work, and we never went out. He never told me i was beautiful, and he never helped with chores or helped with the children, but over all he tried to be a good husband but i guess he didnt know how. We are still good friends but i had to move on because i wasnt happy, and yes i did start seeing someone else (which didnt work out.) But if there is any chance for you to mend things betwee the two of you i say go for it. Try to forget about the affair and work on getting your wife back, and if it doesnt work try to explain how sorry you are for driving her away and that you should still be friends, you should care more about her happiness at least. Good luck.

Wow! I appreciate reading your post. You are exactly right, life is too short to not compliment each other and tell the people you love why you love them. We tend to take each other for granted when things become routine and too comfortable. You seem like a great guy and I hope the best for you. Do not blame yourself totally, your wife was the one that did not communicate with you her true feelings. If she was feeling lonely she should have communicated this to you. Don't look back and beat yourself up with what you should have said or done. Good Luck and keep me posted on how you are doing! Happy New Year!