I am stopping my divorce

Giving up control to God is difficult as a human :-)  Esp if you are used to leading the charge.  I am finding out that only He knows what is best for us. 

I heard something today on the radio, that He loves us unconditionally, allows us the room for repentance, and to have a good life, a gift He has given to all of us.  I know it sounds apparent, but just seeing those words confirm that we are not alone.  He brought us together...virtually, at best through thes blogs, but He knows our sufferings and wants to absolve us from them.  Good luck, God Bless, and let us know how things work out.  Whatever way it goes, you are not alone, and He remains with you!

I forgot to add my husband's response. He actually cried. Said he was sorry for how he treated me and for leaving us. He said he missed us - missed me and loved us, too. He said he didn't know what to say about the divorce - wasn't sure about it. I said I'm fine with whatever he decided. Then we had a regular conversation about things and our plans for Christmas.
I don't know if he's still seeing that OW. I don't know if it's serious or not, or if he thought things would happen and it didn't. They live on different isles, just like we do (although it's easier for him to see her than us). But yah know what folks - I don't care. Like I said, I don't control him. All I can do is put my situation in God's hands. If we divorce, I'll get a new start at life and love, and can be careful of my choice. If not, then hopefully I get a grown up version of my husband.

Thanks so much for the support everyong. I taked to my husband and told my him how I felt. I even apologized for whatever I have done to hurt him in the past as well. I said that I loved him, always have, and miss him. That I truly forgive him and no matter what happens, I am still his friend (because that's what I miss the most). I told him that all the paperwork for the divorce is done. All he has to do is say the word - or I will send him the final (notarized) document and if he wants, he can mail it. I told him I don't believe in divorce. Marriage isn't something you quit just because of emotional breakdowns. But if he has moved on or wants to move on, then it is up to HIM to it official. The process is all paid for.

These past 2-3 years have been the worse for me. He became increasingly cruel, drank heavy, and then had at least one emotional affair. I am not forgetting what he did - don't get me wrong. But I am forgiving him and letting it go. If we don't get back together, then I look forward to a new life of love and adventure. If it does, then we can be stronger than before. But no matter what - Fractalberry has peace of heart. And my baby boy won't have to suffer the "backlash" of our heartache and fighting. He will have mommy and daddy, no matter if we are married or not. Scars from a broken relationship can last forever, and can affect so many people (esp children). I don't want that. I can't control what my husband does. But I can control what I do. And, I want to be happy and be the best mom I can be.

Today, I go to kick boxing class. I've already started working on my dissertation and dusted off a novel I was working on for years. Soon, I'll take some art and language classes, maybe even cooking classes. Enroll my son in an early-learning classes. Just have fun. Live, plan vacations. Enjoy what I have.

I'll let you all know what happens.
Merry Christmas and a truly happy New Year to all.
Make it a good one for yourselves.

Please, let us know.  I keep hope alive.

You are very bless...Love is very precious and you can sleep well tonight knowing that you still have him for the moment...cherish eachother like there is no tommorrow..and the most important thing about love is to communicate....that is where we all go wrong....

Great that you can have that much faith in our creator!  Dont hear much of that these days.  I praise you for letting God take control of the situation.  This is the real reason for the season!  Merry Christmas and God Bless

Congrats for trying to stick it out.  It is a difficult choice that not too many people have the guts to do in this day and age.  For that I salute you.

Please do keep us informed.  I like to hear good endings.

Yes, please keep us posted!

And I respectfully disagree with Paula regarding abuse, but the ONLY way I will disagree is if the abusive person WANTS to stop the abuse, otherwise I wholeheartedly agree that it is not worth trying to keep a family together.

In my situation, my husband was/is physically and verbally abusive - I have been physically and verbally abusive as well, especially in defense - but, and the huge BUT here, is that he now WANTS to stop his abuse and is truly actively working on it.

I have not dismissed my divorce, but I have not moved forward with it either.

Good luck and, yes, please keep us posted.

yes, please do report back.  i'm not pro divorce and believe in working on marriage (unless there is abuse)....

just be sure that you're not stopping this divorce because of manipulation or fear.  only you know what is best for your family.....