My son took his first steps today

For those who may not know, my 1 year old son is adopted. (it is a really amazing adoption story. I'm happy to share it with all who ask).

I took him to the mall today. I don't like malls but I just wanted to get the hell out of this depressing house. So off to the mall we went. While we were there we always stop at the play area to let him burn off a little energy. He loves watching the other kids and crawling through the tunnels.

I've been working with him on walking for a couple of weeks now. He walks by holding onto things such as furnature or your hands. He has never figured it out on his own yet. Ivery time I try to push him beyoud his boundaries a little bit he gets scared and falls on his butt. Most times he shakes it off but sometimes I get a cry.

Anyway, while he was playing in the play area today, watching very intently at what the slightly older kids were doing. Running around, crawling through the tubes and tunnels, climbing on the fake animals etc, he did the most amazing thing.

All by himself he stood bolt upright, took about 6 or 7 steps balencing on his own with no furnature or an adult's hands to hold on to. It was very deliberate and remarkale to see.

Now for the sad part for me. In the middle of my jubilation regarding this major break through, my sub-vocalization was I wish his mom was here to have shared it.

It is now several hours later and I'm preparing for bed myself. He was in bed hours ago. I'm reliving the event in my head as I type this. My sub-vocalization is now saying "If she would rather be elswhere in order to get the space she needs, then I'm glad she missed it." I didn't even have a camera with me to try to share pictures of the event after the fact.

In fact i think I'll just "forget" to tell her about it. Let her discover it on her own. Why should I have to tell her about all the great events in his life that she is missing.